Reinke Faces Life

Earlier, I wrote about how I knew I had found the girl I was gonna marry. It was obvious to me. I broke up with a beautiful girl I was dating. And, I signed off another girl I had seen from time to time. (Yes, watch the quiet ones. Treat the gals nice and they’ll over look all sorts of shortcomings in looks, charisma, and character.)

On her birthday that year, I proposed. And, she promptly said “No!”. No hint of a smile. No hint of disgust. No hint of shock.

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Correction: It wasn’t on her birthday. It was in the Fall of 1967. I don’t know why I was confused about the date. Should have written it down. Should have written a lot of things down.

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In a trembling voice, I asked if that meant she no longer wanted to see me. And, she promptly said “No!”.

I asked for an explanation because I was crushed. She explained that it was too soon, too many things were outstanding, to many clouds in our way. And, not on her birthday! She wanted a special day.

So I took the ring — of course, I had a beautiful, but small, ring in my pocket that I had picked out by myself without telling anyone — back to the jeweler. Paid the 10% “rental” on the $1200. And the old guy asked about it, he said: “She sounds like a great girl. You pretend she said yes. Assume it. And, eventually she’ll see what a good guy you are. And come back when you’re ready to propose again.” Yeah right. He made a $120 a pop dispensing that advice.

But, I was hooked. Line and sinker.

I later found out that my Mom had spoken to her Mom and they had agreed I had to finish school first. So her Mom had a conversation with her. When this all transpired, I was oblivious. Guess it was obvious to the women folk.

Some time later, when it was getting close to completion, my semester grade’s came in. At that point, I had enough credits and GPA to take my degree whenever I wanted it. (Remember the VietNam war was raging. And, I had a deferment for school.) She let me know that she would entertain another proposal. All she said was: “Remember your proposal? It’s time to try again.” With that sparkle of trickster, vamp, and Irish entertainer.

Hey, I’m not easy, I made her wait a month.

Pete Gunston, Andre Straza, and I were all in that same state — impending engagement. So, we decided that a triple engagement date would be a good idea. (Never considering what it would mean if one, two, or three would refuse? I was reasonable sure I could, would, might close my “deal”. But with a crazy headstrong Irish colleen, it was never assured.) So we planned a movie and dinner afterwards. Fancy restaurant reservations.

We met at the movie theater.

“Barbarella”

The boys paid. It was more expensive because it was midtown NYC, “premiere no passes no senior citizen discount”, and it just was. I member 8$ / head. We got popcorn and stuff. (I ALWAYS get pop corn.) And, sat down. I remember the opening. Jane Fonda, who was not hard on the eyes, disrobes in a zero gravity space ship. (Interesting concept. Which I was interested in studying. Just from an engineering perspective mind you. A woman’s bust unconfined in zero gravity does what?)

Our Girl had seen enough to know where it was going. She stands up, and in a loud voice, says: “I’ve seen enough. I’m leaving.”

Of course, I was a few feet behind. Followed by our companions. (I’m not sure if the other young ladies would have led the walk out but they were sure ready to follow her.) The rest is a little bit of a blur. I remember a ferocious Irish Princess convincing the theater manager to refund the ticket prices. And, the comment that this movie was improperly rated. “XXX” was her assessment.

I believe I was told that “I’ll tell you when it’s time for you to see such things.” (Boobs?) She never did tell me; guess she just forgot.

So “plans are meaningless; planning is everything”. The men regrouped. We end to a chinese restaurant for appetizers to await our reservation time. To fill the time, the rings were presented and we were three for three. Went on to dinner, and laughed a lot about the walk out.

Later in the evening, privately, she said she was surprised at the choice of movie and “I was disappointed that you were not first up and out. It was so unlike you.” I explained my engineering interest in the topic so I was temporarily “distracted”. She said: “Grow up they’re just breasts.”

But we were engaged. Of course, we were back by 1230 for the 1AM curfew. And, we sat on the landing at 39W8, her Mom opened the door and said: “I see your home on time. I’m going to bed. Don’t stay out here all night.” I knew my status had changed. How it had changed! We exchanged … ideas about the future that night. And she scooted in before too long.

But, after that, I always checked out the movie before I would take her.

The girl had grit, standards, and a fierce independent streak.

# # # # # posted 2011-03-06 12:42

# – # – # – # – # updated 2011-May-26 @ 11:53

Hi John,

I read the obit you sent for Evlynn. I was so sorry to hear of her passing. I remember meeting your wife several times on our business trips and always thought how special a person she was. For some reason a trip to Orlando sticks out where Alan Bowden and I took you and your wife to some kind of cowboy saloon restaurant.

I just wanted to tell you I’m thinking about you during this difficult time.

Regards,
Gary

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Thanks, Gary. I forgot about that. She loved music. Even what I’d call “goat roper”. Guess she and Alan are laughing about it now. Sigh!

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Thanks, Gary. She loved music. Any kind! We were inseparable. Now, I have to travel “my last mile” alone. It’s something I knew was coming. We always knew she was going to leave early. That’s why she filed for her Social Security as soon as she was eligible. Even though from an after tax perspective it made no sense. But it was “her money”, the taxes came out of “our money” or “my money”. ROFL. Maybe it did make sense. She pulled the wool over my eyes again. I think it was the smile in her eyes. Bewitched me.

# # # # # posted 2011-03-06 11:38

Dear John,

I didn’t know. Thank you for letting me know. Ev was so special — I would have written that “she was the dream team” and not “a member of the dream team.” Nothing seemed impossible with Ev on your side. Didn’t realize how hard and serious her health battle was.

From our brief exchange, she seemed pleased with her life. Not so many can say that. And you must miss her terribly.

She’ll be in my prayers and in my thoughts. I sent the clipping to my sister who played on Benedictine’s basketball team — our arch rival. Ev was loved by all!

Love,
Jane

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[JR: Thanks for those kind words. I’m not surprised. That she always minimized her own health and that she understated her role in the HFA victories. And, I always felt nothing was impossible. Except we never did hit that multi-million progressive. So I guess some things WERE impossible.]

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From: john
To: Jane
Sent: Fri Mar 04 10:20:47 2011
Subject: Passing along some sad news.

Dear Ms. Jane,

I’m just going through all the old email and cleaning up. If you hadn’t heard, I just wanted you to know that Ev passed. She enjoyed catching up with you. Just wanted you to know, she was pleased.

Donna Nobis Pacem,
fjohn

# # # # # posted 2011-03-04 12:30

http://1000memories.com/evy-reinke/stories/3905-my-dear-friend-evy

My Dear Friend Evy
By Marge

Sometimes when people express their love for someone that they have lost start out by saying one word could describe so and so. Not true in this case, there are so many words that describe our Evy. Her love for her family and friends and especially for her “Johnny”. She loved her kids, from the time they were little to grown, and when their children came along the love grew even more. Her generosity was never ending, always seeing and making sure everybody had everything they wanted or needed. Even people she didn’t know, reading a newspaper article of someone who was in need, she would find out a way to help. She was always considerate of your feelings, a good listener, she could even name all my brothers and sisters and I’m one of 12! If I mentioned a niece or nephew she knew what sibling they belonged to. That’s a true friend, one who listens. I’m sure you have many words of your own that describe Evy, but here are a few that ring to mind when I think of Evy. Easy going, friendly, funny, hard working, honest, kind, smart, wise, moral, compassionate, selfless, optimistic, trustworthy, positive, loyal, bright, cheerful, out going, lucky, big hearted, down to earth, a peace maker, always a lady, gracious, a fighter to the bitter end, Irish, but the most of all loved. I’m sure I’ll think of many more. We all have great memories and our own words to remember Evy, we’ll never forget you Evy, you will be truly missed my dear friend.

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http://1000memories.com/evy-reinke/songs/450-leaving-on-a-jet-plane

Leaving On A Jet Plane
By Peter, Paul, and Mary

A hit that became “our song” when I received my draft notice and joined the Air Force. We had became engaged. We were saving ourselves and money for the wedding and to start a life together. But were waiting to actually marry until after I graduated from Manhattan. Promises made to the two Moms. Then, I was drafted immediately. This was another delay. We, really me, but she agreed, decided that we had to wait until we had some stability. I could be going to be cannon fodder in Viet Nam. So, in January when I got notice for a 01 February 1970 induction, this became our song. Absence would either make the heart grow fonder or else. A great wind can blow out a match or fan a forest fire. We were both afraid the separation would kill what we had. Or even worse, it would kill me leaving her behind. So the song really captured what we were both feeling. Even later in life, it made us closer. If such was possible.

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” … … Oh babe, I still hate to go.”

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