FUN: “That’s the biggest chicken I’ve ever seen.”

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-68931938?ICID=ref_fark

Repton: Rhea on the run in village shocks driver

A rhea on the run left a driver in shock after it jumped out in front of his car.

The large, flightless bird was seen running down Main Street in Repton, Derbyshire, on Sunday afternoon.

Robert Jay, a window cleaner in the village, was driving with his wife when the rhea suddenly appeared.

Mr Jay shared a video, which was filmed by his wife, on social media with the caption: “That’s the biggest chicken I’ve ever seen.”

# – # – # – # – # 

I just found this video funny and can not imagine that I’d have thought it was chicken.

Laugh!

Not every story has to be a serious Debby Downer.

Poor “chicken”.

—30—

FUN: Skydiving beavers — another Gooferment idea that was not half bad

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/70282/watch-beavers-parachute-planes-footage-1948?ICID=ref_

Watch Beavers Parachute From Planes in Footage From 1948
Skydiving beavers. What could possibly go wrong?
By Rebecca OConnell | Mar 25, 2024, 3:27 PM EDT

*** begin quote ***

With the help of test beaver Geronimo, Heter created a special wooden box that opened on impact. In total, 76 beavers were dropped in Chamberlain Basin, with all but one surviving. They went on to live fruitful, busy lives in their remote new home. 

The story of the furry skydivers may sound too silly to be true, but there is video evidence. Fish and Game historian Sharon Clark found the forgotten footage, and thanks to the magic of the internet, we can all enjoy it today.

*** end quote ***

Well for one beaver, it didn’t work out so well.

Pretty funny to me.  Wonder what the beavers thought of it?

Do beavers think?

—30—

 

FUN: If I knew then what I know now, what different world it would be.

https://punchdrink.com/articles/third-shift-bars-detroit-michigan/?utm_placement=newsletter

Detroit’s Best Third Shift Bars Are a Vital, Dying Breed | PUNCH

# – # – # – # – # 

Reminds me of the River Road Tavern in Piscataway off Centennial Avenue to have a few quick ones before I had to jump on 287 and race for injinnering skrule up in the Bronx.

Laugh!  I miss those easy old days.  And the overtime paychecks!

Sigh!  

Sadly so many wasted hours and brain cells.  If I knew then what I know now, what different world it would be.

Coincidences seem to govern our destinies?  

“Regrets I’ve have few but too few to mention.”  — Frank Sinatra singing My Way

—30—

 

FUN: How high can an emu jump?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11975989/Hilarious-videos-escaped-EMU-leading-Tennessee-police-20-mile-chase-speeds-40mph.html

Road runner! Hilarious video shows escaped EMU leading Tennessee police on 20 mile chase at speeds of up to 40mph after breaking free of his enclosure

  •     MeeMoo cleared the fence of his enclosure with a seven-foot vertical leap and led police on an incredible 20-mile chase through a Tennessee town
  •     Harry McKinney said his pet escaped on Wednesday after being spooked by construction workers logging behind his home
  •     Police eventually surrounded the flightless bird, which had clocked speeds of up to 40 miles per hour, and MeeMoo made it back home safely

By Kamal Sultan For Dailymail.Com
Published: 09:20 EDT, 15 April 2023 | Updated: 09:37 EDT, 15 April 2023 

# – # – # – # – # 

If you answered more than 7 feet, you’re right.  

MeeMoo’s next challenge is 9 feet.  Anyone giving odds it can do it?

Remember  “Now ladies, I’ll share some advice that I picked up from a tattooed lady in a bar on Second Avenue late one Saturday night at closing time. She said ‘Sonny, if a man wants to bet you that he can have the Jack of Spades jump out of that deck of cards there on the bar there and it will piss in your ear, be prepared to have a wet ear.’ Sorry, that’s the whole and literal truth. My betrothed made me promise to tell the whole exact truth.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 1 Page 234

Laugh!

—30—

FUN: CLUE would be fun but not for 60$/year

https://www.cnet.com/tech/gaming/classic-mystery-board-game-clue-lands-in-apple-arcade/#ftag=CAD590a51e

Tech Gaming
Classic Mystery Board Game Clue Lands in Apple Arcade

  • Eat your heart out, Sherlock Holmes.

Zachary McAuliffe
March 24, 2023 12:23 p.m. PT

*** begin quote ***

Get your magnifying glasses ready because Clue: Hasbro’s Mystery Game Plus, based on the classic board game, arrived on Apple Arcade Friday. If you subscribe to Apple Arcade ($5, £5 or AU$8 a month), you can play this game free of cost, ads or in-app purchases.

Marmalade Game Studios is responsible for bringing the board game to your screen, and this isn’t the first time the studio has brought a board game to digital devices, either. The studio has digitized other classic games, like Monopoly and Battleship, too.

*** end quote ***

I was initially attracted to it. BYAS (But Yet Another Subscription) turns me off BIG TIME!

—30—

FUN: How to become a “real” programmer — screw up big time; then you have been “trained”!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/vz8t4y/its_official_boys_im_a_real_programmer_now/

Subreddit Icon
r/ProgrammerHumor
•Posted by
u/nosam56
3 hours ago
Bravo!Press FHelpful3WholesomeSilver3Narwhal Salute
It’s official boys, I’m a real programmer now

Just accidentally deleted every single entry in our production database. At 4:50pm. And i fucked up the backup, so we have to wait till tomorrow for someone to do a system restore.

# – # – # – # – #

I just thought this was hilarious!

—30—

Categories FUN

FUN: Remembering when I was a “Miles Chaser”

https://bitcoinmagazine.com/culture/bitcoin-songsheet-airline-miles?utm_source=Bitcoin+Magazine&utm_campaign=4e1027bcbe-&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_f7d45fbb67-4e1027bcbe-357073741&mc_cid=4e1027bcbe&mc_eid=386b7b0895

Bitcoin Songsheet: Airline Miles Are The Original Altcoins
Airline miles are the original altcoin, allowing zombie companies to issue
value for nothing while encouraging people to be “Miles Chasers.”
Jimmy Song
Apr 11, 2022

*** begin quote ***

Confessions of a Miles Chaser

I used to be one of those Miles Chasers. I’d spend an hour looking for a way to earn miles so I could get the equivalent of $8 in miles. Somehow, it never registered that I was giving myself a job at $8/hr. The sadder thing is that the work didn’t really benefit anybody or build anything. It was as productive as doomscrolling through Facebook. Unfortunately, Miles Chasing is a hard habit to break because of the scarcity mentality that’s so common to fiat money: You can take the miles from my cold, dead hands.

*** end quote ***

I was once a “miles chaser”, but I never bought into the credit card offers and other ”extra miles” gimmicks.

I had a job at AT&T where I was doing database trying for a new footprint side roll out.  I had to visit an absurd number of cities in — as I remember it — in 8 week window.  The United plan had some number of miles and “segments” for a few week in Hawaii including free round trip first class tickets for two people.  Getting miles was the “easy part”; segment were much harder. Reading the “rules”, a non-stop counted as one segment, but stops along the route counted as segments. Since I was allowed to chose my flights, I took the roll out schedule and figured out how to do the training and collect the required number of segments. Laugh!  (Just tell me the rules and I’ll figure it out.)  So I was doing two cities a week Monday / Tuesday in City #1 and then Thursday / Friday in City #2.  So Sunday night I went Trenton to Pittsbugh to O’Hare then proceeding to City #1. On Wednesday I’d fly from City #1 to City #2; non-stop unless I needed more segments. And finally on Friday night, inbound to home from City #2 to O’Hare, Pittsburgh, and Trenton. Laugh!  No problem. Then Frau Reinke and I went to Hawaii via LA and San Fran with side trips to Las Vegas and Reno. 

Made it all worthwhile. Got a great appraisal for doing the training with a raise, bonus, and promotion. No much of a life for those 8 weeks but everything in life was a trade off.  I even got kudos for “saving travel money” since the price of direct flights at the time was about triple my connectors. 

It was a great “life hack” and I learned to always study the rules.

Laugh!

I never used or collected “miles” after that. 

Laugh!

—30—

FUN: Capturing a getaway eagle

https://gizmodo.com/kodiak-the-eagle-has-been-captured-after-week-long-adve-1847792273

Kodiak the Eagle Has Been Captured After Week-Long Adventure in Pittsburgh
Preliminary veterinary tests suggest the bird is healthy and uninjured.
By George Dvorsky
Yesterday 10:03AM 

*** begin quote ***

On Sunday, October 3, a National Aviary team spotted Kody at a residence in Pine Township following reports of the bird loitering nearby. Using “professional falconry techniques and equipment,” the team was “able to safely retrieve Kody and bring him back home,” according to a National Aviary tweet. Apparently this entails a large net and running towards the eagle as quickly as possible.

*** end quote ***

Pretty funny to watch the guy chasing the bird.  Good think the bird wasn’t hurt or anyone else.

I’m not so sure if I would want to be that close to one big bird.  Especially if it was mad!

—30—

Categories FUN

FUN: White House Fence

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/3975231/posts

White House Fence

Three contractors bid to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

“Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $9,000. That’s $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $7,000. That’s $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$27,000.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure?”

“The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.

—30—

 

FUN: From the “why can’t they keep drugs out of prison” file!

https://www.boredpanda.com/people-share-dumbest-school-rules/

#28
My highschool had “coordinates”, not a uniform. But they stopped selling the shorts like a decade before I started there… So me and a bunch of buddies tracked down used pairs and started wearing them.

Next year, shorts were banned outright… So me and a bunch of buddies on the rugby team started wearing skirts, because the rules said skirts were acceptable, but didn’t specify gender. So you had a bunch of guys with hairy, hairy legs walking around in skirts we deliberately hiked up a little to show some thigh.

Shorts were allowed again in a week.

—30—

Categories FUN

FUN: Ever hear of “cork ball”? I hadn’t.

https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/corkball-the-mutant-baseball-game-thats-a-st-louis-tradition/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+theartofmanliness+%28The+Art+of+Manliness%29

In: Health & Sports, Sports
Brett and Kate McKay • May 6, 2021
Corkball: The Mutant Baseball Game That’s a St. Louis Tradition
 
*** begin quote ***

Welcome to corkball: a mutant baseball game hailing from the streets of St. Louis, that you just might want to import to your own neighborhood. 

The Origins of Corkball

In the 1840s, Irish and German immigrants came pouring into St. Louis. Many of the latter brought beer recipes from Deutschland and opened breweries that mass-produced German lagers for the country’s growing population. While brewing companies like Anheuser-Busch were innovating beer-making with pasteurization and refrigeration, the employees at these breweries were making innovations to American baseball and created a version of the game that allowed them to play with a limited number of players, in a limited space, without the usual regulation equipment. 

Legend has it that corkball got its start in an east St. Louis tavern sometime around 1900. Some bored, slightly drunk dude popped the cork bung off a beer barrel and wrapped some tape around it. He then tossed it to a drinking buddy who tried to hit it with a broomstick. 

Boom!

Corkball was born. 

The most significant difference between corkball and baseball was that corkball had no runners, so there were no bases. Because there were no bases or runners, men didn’t need a big space or many players to play corkball. They could technically get a corkball game going with just four total — two to a team. 

*** begin quote ***

Ever hear of “cork ball”? I hadn’t.

Sounds like it could be a real winner.

Except for calling balls and strikes.

That injects subjective judgments.

Have to think about how to eliminate that.

—30—

FUN: Never take your eyes off little kids!

https://www.liveleak.com/view?t=sIDJU_1615886463&utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

Chinese girl gets stuck in claw machine after climbing inside to claim prizes

*** begin quote ***

A girl got stuck in a claw machine in northern China after she climbed inside to get her hands of the prizes inside.

The CCTV video, captured in the city of Hohhot in Inner Mongolia on March 14, shows a girl in a black dress climbing into a claw machine through the pickup hole.

After she grabbed a doll, she was trying to climb back out but could not manage it.

Her friend informed their parents and the workers at the arcade game centre were called to the site to open the claw machine door to free the girl.

*** end quote ***

Never take your eyes off little kids!

They are amazing.

—30—

Categories FUN

FUN: Entitled “Karen” Mistakes Customer For An Employee, He Makes The Situation Hilarious For Himself

Ever been mistaken for an employee? If you have, it’s fine, everyone has. If you haven’t, it’s okay—nobody likes to accept it. But there’s a safe space to talk about hard things and it’s a subreddit called r/IDontWorkHereLady . It turns out, people assuming you’re a staff member is a thing.

Source: Entitled “Karen” Mistakes Customer For An Employee, He Makes The Situation Hilarious For Himself

# – # – # – # – #

Laugh!

—30—

Categories FUN

FUN: Horses’ Asses control almost everything.

History of Railroads
  
This may have been around before, so apologize if a rerun but thought it was both interesting and funny!

(FJR: It has but it’s timeless)


 
Railroad Tracks 

The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.  That’s an exceedingly odd number.  

Why was that gauge used?  

Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.

Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tram ways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
 
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other  spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So, who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?

Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.

Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
 
Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
 
In other words, bureaucracies live forever.
 
So the next time you are handed a specification, procedure, or process, and wonder, ‘What horse’s ass came up with this?’, you may be exactly right.

Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank.

These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs  The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.
 

 
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit larger, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.

The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.
 

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass.

And you thought being a horse’s ass wasn’t important!

Now you know, Horses’ Asses control almost everything.

Explains a whole lot of stuff, doesn’t it??!!  

# – # – # – # – #

Credit to my “old” as opposed to my “older” and “oldest” friends.

—30—
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Categories FUN

FUN: ​”​Men with long ring fingers are less likely to die from the coronavirus: study​”​

https://nypost.com/2020/05/26/men-with-long-ring-ringers-are-less-likely-to-die-from-the-coronavirus-study/

​”​Men with long ring fingers are less likely to die from the coronavirus: study​”​

​# – # – # – # – # ​

​Nice to know if I get the WuFlu, it’ll be mild. 

Laugh!

Makes a much sense as anything else we’ve heard from the “experts”!​

—30—

FUN: A “trash panda” makes fools of Gooferment bureaucrats and their “raccoon proof” trash can

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5611463/Rascal-raccoon-figures-open-secure-bin-hilarious-footage.html

Trash panda strikes! Brazen bandit figures out how to open ‘raccoon proof’ trash can in seconds in hilarious footage

  • Toronto householder Graeme Boyce spotted the brazen daylight break-in
  • The animal forced its way in to the ‘raccoon-proof’ trash can in 30 seconds 
  • They were introduced in 2015, touted at the time as being totally critter proof
  • But the animal in the video dispelled that claim with consumate ease 

By Alastair Tancred For Mailonline

PUBLISHED: 05:32 EDT, 13 April 2018 | UPDATED: 08:41 EDT, 13 April 2018

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This is pretty funny. 30 seconds to dispose of the barrier?

Link when they mandated “bear proof trashcan” in North Jersey. The bears just threw the cans at the conveniently located garage doors; splitting the cans open and damaging the garage door. Then they proceeded down the street and doing it at every house. Nothing like having an annoyed hungry bear in the neighborhood.

When will people learn that wildlife will find a way to survive. And, we’d best not get in their way.

This video made me laff at the arrogance of humans.

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Categories FUN

FUN: Oscar nominated films I’ve seen

http://variety.com/2018/film/news/list-2018-oscar-nominations-1202668757/

Best Picture:

“Call Me by Your Name”
“Darkest Hour”
⑧ “Dunkirk” — enjoyable
“Get Out”
“Lady Bird”
③ “Phantom Thread” — waste of money
“The Post”
“The Shape of Water”
⑥ “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” — strange

# – # – #

My rating scale:

①②③④⑤⑥⑦⑧⑨⑩

My comments

  • “Timeless”
  • “Enjoyable”
  • “OK”
  • “Strange”
  • “MEH”
  • “Waste of Money” 

And “Especially Objectionable” if it “offends” me.

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Categories FUN

FUN: Little kids think birthday parties actually make you get older

I agree!!!

 

Science Adorable munchkins fundamentally misunderstand how times passes. Children as old as four and five think that the actual purpose of a birthday party is to increase your age . It’s not a celebration—it’s a ritual.

Source: Little kids think birthday parties actually make you get older

Categories FUN