FUN: Lily and Marshall pause

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Lily and Marshall pause

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Many a true word comes on comedy shows!

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FUN: Cinco De Mayo

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Ok, lately I’ve gotten e‐mails from people claiming that the Titanic was carrying mayonnaise (some say 12,000 jars, others give no quantity). Once the Titanic reached New York, it’s next supposed destination was Mexico. The e‐mail always ends with a corny Sinko de Mayo joke.

The only evidence I’ve found that this is a joke and not some coincidence embellished with a poor inter‐lingual pun is that mayonnaise was supposedly just invented in 1912.

Any help here?

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England.

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

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FUN: Boooo on the Princeton Review

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

New beef alert: Taylor Swift vs. the Princeton Review.

It seems the test preparation company misquoted Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” in their materials for an SAT practice test. Even worse, they misquoted Swift and then criticized her allegedly bad grammar — despite the fact that they screwed up her words in the first place.

A page in the practice test quotes Swift as singing, “Somebody tells you they love you, you got to believe ’em.” The actual line is, “Somebody tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them.” The actual lyric is not grammatically incorrect, unless you’re concerned about “gonna” vs. “going to,” in which case you may want to relocate to the Victorian Era.

A fan called Taylor’s attention to the Princeton Review’s gaffe, and Swift’s response on Tumblr was tough but fair: “Not the right lyrics at all pssshhhh. You had one job, test people. One job.”

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Testing 1, 2, 3 … … …

Us swifties are always on the alert for this national treasure.

#tswift13 #tswift

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FUN: George Carlin “Safe at home”

Saturday, February 21, 2015

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RIP George. 

You always made me laugh!

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FUN: Some one liners

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Editor/Publisher/s Notes – Mike Berger
Vienna VA 22181
Volume 6 Number 6
Cell: 703-861-0726

*** begin quote ***

Humor – Lexophiles

A Lexophile is a person who loves words. Here are phrases 

– Police were called to a Day Care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

– You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.

– Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.

– When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

– A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

– When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. 

– The batteries were given out free of charge.

– A dentist and a manicurist married and fought tooth and nail.

– A will is a dead giveaway. 

– With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

– A boiled egg is hard to beat.

– When you’ve seen one Shopping Center you’ve seen a Mall.

– Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was  cut off? He’s all right now.

– A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

– When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

– The person who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

– He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

– When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.

– Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

And finally 

– Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

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Thursday, October 30, 2014



#10. I vote Democrat
because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd.

#9. I vote Democrat
because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn’t.

#8. I vote Democrat
because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

#7. I vote Democrat
because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

#6. I vote Democrat
because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.

#5. I vote Democrat
because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

#4. I vote Democrat
because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3. I vote Democrat because I
believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even
and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

#2. I vote Democrat
because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

… And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is
because I think it’s better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don’t care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.


“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits”… Albert Einstein

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I have no info on the accuracy or attribution of the supposed Einstein quote. The other 10 points seem spot on to me.

Not that I have any great love for the R’s who are merely in most cases just Democratic lite.

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FUN: Screw is a funny word

Sunday, October 5, 2014

*** begin quote ***

Screw is a funny word.

Since at least 1725 it has meant to copulate, and since 1900 it has meant to cheat or defraud.

“To screw up” dates from 1942, while not having your head screwed on right has been an expression since at least 1821.

The screwdriver cocktail traces its roots to 1956, and the screwball as a pitch to 1866, while as a person to 1933.

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