EVLYNN: The Value of Sadness | Psychology Today

Sadness is often mistakenly confused with depression. Unlike depression, sadness is a natural part of life and is usually connected with certain experiences of pain or loss or even a meaningful moment of connection or joy that makes us value our lives. Depression, on the other hand, can arise without a clear explanation or can result from an unhealthy, non-adaptive reaction to a painful event, where we either steel ourselves against our natural reaction to the event or get overwhelmed by it.

Source: The Value of Sadness | Psychology Today

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What can one do?

“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399

Tearfully putting one foot in front of the other.


EVLYNN: “Who ever is last will be last.”


Today’s a sad day for me.  Interesting that this flowed into my email today.  I always wondered what rare blood disease that took her from us.  Hopefully, someday someone else will not have to go through it. 

“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399

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Sponsored by the National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences and Clinical Center at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), Rare Disease Day at NIH aims to raise awareness about rare diseases, the people they affect and NIH research collaborations under way to address scientific challenges and to advance new treatments. The goals are to:

  • Demonstrate the NIH commitment to helping people with rare diseases through research.
  • Highlight NIH-supported rare diseases research and the development of diagnostics and treatments.
  • Initiate a mutually beneficial dialogue among public and private researchers, patients, patient advocates and policymakers.
  • Exchange the latest rare diseases information with stakeholders to advance research and therapeutic efforts.
  • Put a face on rare diseases by sharing stories of patients, their families and their communities.

Rare Disease Day at NIH will take place on Feb. 28, 2019, from 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. in the main auditorium of the Natcher Conference Center in Building 45 on the main NIH campus in Bethesda, Maryland. 

This year’s event will feature interactive panel discussions and more:

  • Collective research models for rare diseases.
  • Patient registries.
  • Rare cancer research initiatives.
  • No disease left behind, no patient left behind.
  • Posters and exhibits by rare disease groups and researchers.
  • Artwork, videos, and tours of the NIH Clinical Center and National Library of Medicine.
  • New this year will be a presentation of the first ever Zebbie award for the NCATS Rare Diseases are Not Rare! Challenge.

Please note that participants may be photographed or filmed as part of the event for use by the NIH and its designees for all purposes of education, instruction, or public information including publication or broadcast, print, television, radio, the internet, or promotional material. If you do not wish to be photographed, please indicate so on your registration form.

Admission is free, and the event is open to the public, including patients, patient advocates, health care providers, researchers, industry representatives, and government employees. In association with Global Genes®, participants are encouraged to wear their favorite pair of jeans.

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EVLYNN: Our Girl followed Grentz, Portland, and all the “Mighty Macs”



She followed them wistfully.  I assume imagining what might have been.

Requiescat In Pacem, Rene.  You’ll have at least one fan to greet you.

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EVLYNN: Yet another bad day

“Don’t be ashamed to weep; ’tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
― Brian Jacques, Taggerung

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You’ve heard me rant that the Gooferment is immoral, ineffective, and inefficient!

Here’s another classic.

Thanks NJ MVC for sending me the renewal for Evelyn’s handicapped placard. 

Now, I know, since there was no money involved, you could care less. (Her social security payment was recaptured within 12 hours of her passing.)

And, there was a NJ estate tax return filed with a copy of the Death Certificate. 

And, there was a NJ Jury Duty notice returned with a copy of the Death Certificate.

And, there was car registration retitled with a copy of the Death Certificate.

And, there was her NJ Drivers’ License renewal returned with a copy of the Death Certificate.

So, I guess you felt it necessary to send me yet another reminder!


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EVLYNN: 10,500 ml of my best platelets donated

I was able to donate a “triple”. 10,500 ml of my best platelets. (Laff! Since it’s about 95% of my platelets, it must include my “best”. Fret not, the body replaces them in 24 hours.) I’m told that’s enough to help 6 people. Or more, if the “bank” is short, then I presume they “cut” them. Ev’s bags ranged from a low of 190 ml to a high of 320 ml.

Feel free to join in. It’s truly the “gift of life”.

One of the regulars was a “no show”, so can you fill in?

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EVLYNN: Death and grief is universal


When a Spouse Dies Abroad
Compounding the grief of loss are mountains of paperwork.

*** begin quote ***

When I finally reemerged, something about me was different. I was less afraid of how I appeared to others and more certain of how I wanted to live. Perhaps I was a little more reckless too. I became more creative. I painted a lot, something I’d let slide with the arrival of my children. You could say that I became more selfish, but as a consequence I also became stronger, and that made me more useful to others.

There is something about the lack of choice in the whole process of grief, the sheer overwhelming power of it—it rushes in like a huge wave, and in the end it forces surrender. From that surrendered state, answers did eventually arrive, but through a very different door than the questions. They came in stealthily. I am not sure precisely when, but I started to find that the questions mattered less. My anger subsided. Gradually I became aware of the everyday happiness of being alive again.

That simple, everyday happiness is not a mundane idea. It is really life’s essence. While I felt, and still feel, that life, like the ocean, can be treacherous, it is also vast and beautiful. It fills me with wonder.

*** end quote ***

Death, any death, is traumatic.

The closer the relative the harder it is.

And closing an estate is often easier said than done.

In the end, all you have is the sadness and loneliness of the “missing”.


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EVLYNN: Donated a “double” today

They didn’t have the usual setup today so everything was “approximated”. Hence, they were only taking singles and doubles today. DRAT!

Due to my “superior qualifications” as a “cow”, they were able to “milk” me for a double.

That translates to four bags of platelets for someone who needs them.

They find it harder to get platelet donors than whole blood donors. 

(Hey, it’s hard work hooked up to one of these “dumb” boxes. And, you have to sort of focus, “squeeze the little ball on the draw, and relax on the return”. Over, and over, and over. For about 2+ hours. Fortunately, I’m a good layer around. Today, I listed to all my @tswift13 music.)

Any way, that brings me to 70/75 bags replaced.

Never let it be said that I let Our Girl down with an unkept promise.

(But my butt still hurts!)


Join me next month?

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EVLYNN: Funny story yesterday

For the better part of almost a year now. I roll out of bed, shape up, and go to work arriving between 7 and 8 AM.

Clock work!

So on Monday, knowing I’d be late, I could my senior coworker and my Boss.

Went to Mass.

Come out and turn on my phone and berry. They start to have a nervous breakdown. Email, calls, texts! 

Did the building burn down? Did our pool with the lotto? Was there an asteroid on its way to 22102?


My coworkers missed me at my appointed time and feared the worst.

They were getting ready to send a expedition over to the condo to see if I died in my sleep.

(LAFF, I should be so lucky!)

And, they even involved my senior coworker, who forgot about the conversation.


I guess they are creatures of habit too and you’re not allowed to deviate from the norm.

Maybe next year, they’ll remember.

I thought it was quite touching and funny.

It was the cherry on a lousy morning!

(Or should that be mourning?)

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EVLYNN: February 26, 2011 — a day that I’ll never forget

Evlynn Marie Mahoney Reinke
(July 1, 1947 – February 26, 2011)

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What can I say?

My life changed that day.

And the rush for the finish line began. 

To catch up.

It’s like … missing an essential part of what was “me”.

I don’t know how other folks doit.

One foot in from of the other, I guess.

No sympathy; no pity needed.

I have a great 40+ years. More than most; less than some.

I only regret the days I didn’t treasure what I had.

This ends what I call the “yucky season” — starts are Halloween (She loved the kids at the door and always made a game out of it!) and end at the end of February. Only bad day the rest of the year is 7/1 her birthday.

“This too shall pass.” 

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The phrase appears in the works of Persian Sufi poets, such as Sanai and Attar of Nishapur. Attar records the fable of a powerful king who asks assembled wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad, and vice versa. After deliberation the sages hand him a simple ring with the words “This too will pass” etched on it, which has the desired effect.

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EVLYNN: Got a lesson from the Universe today

In feeling blue about Frau Reinke’s passing …

… today, the Universe delivered a lesson. I saw a man feeding his wife a hot dog. She was confined to a wheelchair and shook uncontrollably. Obviously in the late stages of Parkinson’s. She was obviously totally dependent on him for her care. And, he was lovingly and diligently feeding her. (Give him a lot of credit.)

So that was my lesson!

Frau Reinke would have been crazed to be like that. And, it would have been infinitely harder work for me to do that for her. (I would have but it would have been a lot harder and emotional for both of us.

So the Universe said today, “It could have been a lot worse for both of you.”

And showed me.

I’m glad she didn’t have to suffer like that.

And, I’m “fine as silk”. :-(

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