MEMORIES: Children?

Over the past weeks, I know that people had a question. One of my old far away friends asked. So I’ll put it out here that others may take a lesson from Frau Reinke’s experience.

We were married a few years and, despite making all the plumbing parts operate, no children were produced.

Her Mom broached the subject and suggested a plumbing check.

We were in Maryland, and I wasn’t comfortable with USAF “medicine”. So we went to an expensive private doctor that we paid with our own money.

So, I went first. (Not too embarrassing.) And, I got a passing grade.

She went through a bunch of tests with no trouble found. (Yeah, and you wonder why I have such a high opinion of “medicine”.)

Her Mom passed. We had the tumult of her coming home to help her Brother and Dad. I got an early out in December and went back to work at AT&T. Her mission at home finished, we got an apartment near AT&T. (Hidden Lakes.)

She wasn’t the housewife type. But, I urged a repeated test. On the theory that two independent doctors might give a different answer. We did them over with an expensive Princeton doc. (Embarrassing Squared! Had to tell the doc about my first test. Then repeat it. That was “unpleasant”.)

Still, no trouble found!

Around that time, she got “sick”. Malaise. Gradually losing all her energy. That was most unlike my “energizer bunny”. So after this “flu” didn’t go away after a week, we were banging on the doc’s door. He diagnosed her with “depression” and RXed her with sedatives. Needless to say, she then was sleeping 20 hours a day. Talk about no energy? She had no life. And I was getting crazed.

About that time, AT&T offered a new idea in healthcare — an HMO. (RCHP) And, it was (a) cheaper; and (b) offered a more complete coverage. So, I figured what could I lose. And, Frau Reinke was in no shape to object. So I signed up. That day I received from AT&T HR an enrollment package. I filled it out immediately. Heath history as best I knew it. Frau Reinke could barely stay awake to talk let alone give me intelligent cooperation. So I put them in the same day, I got them. That was Friday.

Sunday night about 6PM, I got a strange phone call. It was “Doctor Ron” who had been assigned to us. And, he wanted me to bring Frau Reinke to the HMO center immediately. Wow! I did. He did the first of what would be lifetime of finger pricks and a quick blood glucose test. She was “HIGH”. He gave her a shot of regular insulin. Forty units as I remember it. Said to go home have her eat something substantial now, and be back first thing in the morning fasting. He said it was obvious to him from the intake questionnaire that she was diabetic. But it had to be confirmed. When I asked him about “depression”, he said that was absurd. And, that I should sue for malpractice.

The rest of that was history. Then next day the fasting blood sugars with a glucose chaser confirmed Type 1 (“Brutal”) diabetes. She left with a bunch of RXes. We started that day with an N injection in the morning, and R before every meal.

Doctor Ron was kool and Frau Reinke really loved him. His advice was to just do her best but that it would be hard for her to keep her BG in the normal range. His sister was a brutal type 1 so he had empathy. (Only doc I ever heard that told a diabetic it was OK to have some ice cream. But just enough to satisfy a craving.) He was gentle as he gave her the bad news that she’d find it impossible to get pregnant. And, that she couldn’t worry about her weight either. That would be only as controlled as her BG permitted.

So, unfortunately, Ev and I could never have kids. And in those days they didn’t have the turkey basters and chemistry experiments that allow everyone from 70 year old women to strange men to have kids.

But she was a tough girl. She announced: “We can adopt!”

So, we tried to adopt. Spent a small fortune and jumped through innumerable hoops. Only to be told “We didn’t qualify because with the diabetes, Ev would not live long enough to raise a child.” Cross my heart. That’s what she was told. Broke her heart. Cried for hours. Then she dusted herself off and found a little girls bball team to coach. And went and got a job.

She loved children because she was a child herself at heart.

Upon reflection, I should have sued or shot that doctor, strangled that social worker, and litigated the issue of diabetes as a disqualifier.

Lesson to be learned: Never believe a bureaucrat; regardless of whether their Gooferment or from a private agency. Don’t take someone’s “no” for an answer. If you want it, go for it and, don’t let anyone kid you, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

I regret I wan’t as pushy then as I am now. Maybe H is correct? I should write that book.

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