METHODOLOGY ***
STRATEGY ***
TACTICS ***
TECHNOLOGY using the boss’ email
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Date: Sunday August 14, 2005 9AMedst
From: Ebineezer
To: All those Bob Cratchets out there
Subject: Using my email
In my last communication, I addressed the terrible waste of coal. Some drivel about trying to keep warm or something. Coal costs me money.
Anyway, my topic today is “if I’m working, why aren’t you”! No, that was yesterday’s. Wait. Oh yes, today’s is “you’re using my email”.
It has come to my attention that some of you are using my email, or that of your employers, to do non-business messaging. This is terrible, I will have to read every single one of those emails. Now I don’t care if you have a social disease. Well maybe I do. But, I do care that, just like the coal, you are wasting my resources for your petty pleasures. Telling jokes or other frivolous stuff! But worse, some of you are conspiring against me. Talking to people behind my back! Being disloyal and even disrespectful. You’re all against me. Those messages cost me money. I have to have systems big enough to handle all that traffic, back them up and give them to lawyers, who cost me even more money.
At least my backups allow me to go back and PROVE you were stealing from me. I’ll make you PAY for every joke. And your little dog too. (OOps wrong movie!)
Go to yahoo, pay zero, and get a free private email. Pay yahoo a few bucks a year and get a better mail experience. Do something, anything. But get your darned postcards off of my and or your employers mail system. Go to 1and1 http://www.1and1.com/?k_id=9113251 and get your own domain, email, and a website for 36$/year.
Then, when I, or my equivalent in your current employer, fires you, all those nasty little people who have been corresponding with can still email you. At least, I won’t be paying for it. I don’t care about the benefit to you that after I fire you that your communications aren’t disrupted. And don’t you even dare to think about having outsiders communicate with you on your private account about business matters because of the excuse that the inside system is flakey. I know all you just want to do is to stay in touch with my suppliers and customers after I “nuke” you. And don’t you be using that email address when you sign up for software, internet services, or other things I pay for. When I nuke you, I want you to feel the loss.
And those of you plotting with recruiters to find a better job, you’d be better off if I didn’t know about it.
And, those of you with social diseases and or personal problems, you’d be better off dead than have me gossiping about you.
And even if I don’t have time to read your message, what about all those sys admins who I overpay? I know that they are sitting around idly gossiping and reading your email for fun. Where do you think they get the raw material to gossip about FROM?
BOTTOM LINE: Take your email private. At zero or no cost. Even gmail would be better than your employer’s. When writing email, IM, or such, think post cards.
Next week, I’ll shall write you about the phone!
Do it or get fired before you want to quit,
Ebineezer
Reinke Faces Life 