Sigh. So long ago, when I knew it all, yet knew nothing, I did have one good idea. Having watched my Mom and Dad literally torture themselves over bad decisions, I decided that each year at New Year’s, I would grant myself amnesty for all things — decisions, choices, purchases, sales, whatever — done in the prior year. No regrets. Not to forget the “lessons learned”, but to move forward as if life was a “new problem”.
So speaking ex cathedra from my belly button, I hereby declare all the mistakes of the prior year no longer “mistakes”, but “experiences”.
So, with my tin foil hat firmly adhered to my thinning hair, and grasping my keyboard as my sword, firmly clad in the righteousness of my intentions, I extend my grant of immunity and amnesty to all my fellow human beings and certain annoying animals. I forgive, but don’t forget all those things better left unsaid (because I really don’t remember them), and hope you will do the same for me.
My motto has become: “Don’t attribute to evil what can be better explained by stupidity.”
And quoting that great American Yoda — “Do or do not… there is no try.” (To do it justice, you must say the word try with all the revulsion and disgust you can put on it. Like you were talking about a rapist, a child murderer, or a politician!) — Yoda (Fictional character from George Lucas’s “Star Wars” movie)
I wish you all a “HNY” and will do better in the New Year.
Medically speaking, I forgive all the medical personnel who I have said bad things about. And, I hope for a much better year in 2011. I hope the Universe recognizes the <synonym for excrement> sandwich it presented to me this year and can have a better menu of choices in the coming year.
“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399
Remember the sources of my education: I’m just a fat old white guy injineer with: Law “degree” from watching Judge Judy; Medical “degree” from watching Doctor Phil; Building “degree” from watching “Holmes on Homes”; Investing “degree” from reading about Bernie Made-off; and creating caring human relationships from studying the movie roles of Gunny Ronald Lee Ermey!
Good luck. Good hunting. Good night. And, may God Bless America.
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