The chain guard is either poorly installed, defective, or been mistreated. It rubbed the read tire. So I, like the fat old white guy injineer I am, bent it back into shape. When riding (Yes I did ride it.) it made a repetitive metal on metal sound. So, I took it back to the shop where I found it needed a little more bending. (Pretty sad that I could bend it with my bear hands. I remember when you needed “tools” to work on metal or bikes. Argh!)
Took a few pedals up and down the block
(OK, four to be exact!)
The seat needs lowering. And, I need to work on it. Argh!
When did fat, old, and out of shape catch up with me?
Argh!
It’s going to be a long rest of my life.
Argh squared!
It’s not hot here on the porch, but I’m hot and sweaty from just that little bit of effort.
I better get a helet for when I fall off this thing and break my skull.
My brain is OBVIOUSLY all I have going for me.
Argh cubed!
You can all stop snickering now. And go read my book. (I have “John” riding a bike effortlessly there. In my imagination!)
It’s all the equipment’s fault!
It’s all effortless long-distance high-speed pedaling … … in my dream world!
# # # # #
Reinke Faces Life 
You could use the ‘motorized’ type? No pedaling. :-)
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