April 7, 2011
Dear fellow Jasper,
Thanks. It was a fun visit. Although, it had to be boring listening to old stories. I’ll be sending you “stuff” over the next few days. Please feel free to dispose of it as you see fit.
When I wrote “my book” “CHURCH 10●19●62”, I put into it every piece of dikw (i.e., data, information, knowledge, wisdom) that I had.
(Data is the elemental atom of the paradigm. Like “3”, “7”, “Langley”. Information is data in context. Like “”37 Langley”. Knowledge is actionable information. Like recognizing “37 Langley” is an address. Wisdom is knowing the implications and boundaries of knowledge. Like “37 Langley” is my first house and that there is a lot you don’t know about it.)
Permit me to share a quote.
*** begin quote ***
“Will you do something for me?” she whined.
“Subject to all the usual caveats”, he replied. Long ago, he had posted ‘house rules’.
There were several panels, but there was one that was really ‘on point’. It said:
“Your Mom and I love you very much. We want the best for you. We will do whatever we think is in your long term best interest as we see it. We may be wrong, but don’t ever doubt that we want you to be happy, healthy, and wise.
That being said, be careful what you ask for, it may be more than you wanted.
We will not deprive you of the chance to be happy by paving the road in front of you; someday we won’t be here to do it for you and happiness is in the struggling journey. We will not deprive you of the chance to be healthy by doing for you or not allowing you to grow; that, which doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.
We will not deprive you of the chance to be wise by giving you the ‘test’ answers; while we might even be occasionally right, we recognize any answer, that is the ‘right’ answer for us from our point of view in our circumstances, maybe totally the ‘wrong’ answer for you from your pov and in your circumstances.
Having said that, we will love you, regardless of anything. We will provide a shoulder to cry on, a modicum of advice, and a swift kick if needed.
You call us heroes?
We’re just travelers on the same road as you, just a little further down that road. Remember we are all in the Holy Presence, and His Grace is Abundant, if you ask for it.”
*** end quote ***
— CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 370
What that long quote means is that the adults, who love you for just being you, (me included), will tell you things —- dikw (i.e., data, information, knowledge, wisdom) —- that they believe is right. It’s up to you to take what is being given, usually with the best of intentions, and decide if it is “right for you”. For your set of circumstances. For you at the time and place in your journey that you are at. Everyone, including me, is going to give you “gifts” from THEIR experience that they think is the “TRUTH” for you to act on. Only you will know if it’s truly right for you.
I tell folks that will listen that the DIKW some one gives you MAY be totally wrong. Someone could tell you to “quit school and become a clown in the circus”. In all honesty and sincerity. I think that might be “wrong”, but who am I to say? Only you can decide. You should (usually) honor the gift and the love it represents. But, recognize it may be flat out wrong, doesn’t apply, applies only in part, or is spot on. (“Look both ways when crossing the street.” Good advice. Except when you’re being chased like in a horror movie. LOL!) You may have folks like me who try to “overpower” you with their DIKW as “advice”. And, at that point, you can no longer “honor the gift” some is trying to force on you. (Call me; I’ll “help”. I’m good at being obnoxious.)
Unfortunately in life, there are no “do overs”, “second chances”, or “start overs”. No one ever knows how different paths will work out. Having watched my Mom, Aunt Rita, and to a certain extend myself, go nuts with “Shoulda, coulda, and woulda!”, I’ve come up with the “one year” rule”. Basically, that rule of thumb says: “Any decision I made was correct at the time I made it given the facts at the time. Period! Anything, done more than one year ago, is ‘a lesson to be learned’; not a mistake. I don’t second guess historical events. I learn from them.” This prevents driving yourself crazy.
SO, with that long lead into, here’s what I have been telling any “youngsters”, such as yourself, who will listen:
Success for your generation is: (1) ruthless financial discipline — no bad debt and savings; (2) a life long interest in learning — education — a degree — they can’t take it away from you; (3) a NON-OFFSHORABLE white collar job doing something in order to save big bux; (4) a blue collar skill for hard times — never saw a poor plumber; (5) one or more internet based businesses — your store is always open; (6) a free time hobby that generates income; and (7) a large will-maintained network of people who can and will “help” you.
Based on my experience with marriage, I should update that to include a “loving spouse”, but that’s probably too personal to tell folks. And, note this is VERY different than the formula I used. I’ve changed this formula seven or eight times over several decades. It may well have to change some more. I think it’s important to have “formulas” to help guide thinking. It prevents stupid mistakes. I always make mistakes. The trick is not repeat them.
Unfortunately, I usually, in my fat old white guy injineer way, go on to lecture folks, that you don’t learn everything you need to be successful from books, school, or your family. There is dikw (i.e., data, information, knowledge, wisdom) that you have to pick up on your own.
An example! The four sisters — Momma Diddy, my Mom, Pattie, and Rita — grew up in the Great Depression. Poor. Hence they “valued” money and were great savers, but they never taught me how to do it.
Another example, their father Grandpa Ed was a great mechanic, but he never taught me how to do it.
If I had been really “smart”, I’d have insisted they teach me. My life would have been very different if I had learned those two life lessons.
Those lessons were NOT available in school, books, or elsewhere.
So, one of your jobs is to “figure out life”. I’m sure you’ll do better at it than I did. I’ll give you some other ideas, tips, and introductions to folks I think can help you. If you want it. Remember ONLY you are the expert in what’s right for you.
Also, remember the sources of my “education”. I’m just a fat old white guy injineer with: Law “degree” from watching Judge Judy; Medical “degree” from watching Doctor Phil; Building “degree” from watching “Holmes on Homes”; Investing “degree” from reading about Bernie Made-off; and creating caring human relationships from studying the movie roles of Gunny Ronald Lee Ermey!
:-)
Thanks for humoring a “weird old alum”,
Remember you have to do what’s right for you,
Even if it’s ignoring me!
rofl!
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Reinke Faces Life 