Attention all turkeys:
When you start your new job, “prepare three envelopes”.
That’s an old joke.
http://www.notboring.com/jokes/work/3.htm
*** begin quote ***
Prepare Three Envelopes
A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said.
Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit’s end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.”
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press — and Wall Street — responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.” This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said, “Prepare three envelopes.”
*** end quote ***
There are a lot of true things said in jest.
This is one of them.
Eventually, things will turn nasty.
I don’t care that today the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and all is right in the Universe. You may be looking forward to cashing your first paycheck. Time to look a little more forward.
There will be a day, in the all to soon future, where you will be –proverbially — opening the “third envelope”.
Now assuming that you don’t have an employment contract — not many of us do — you’ll be facing the unpleasantness of the potential axe.
So, today, right now, when all is good, please please plan your demise.
Create a folder at home called “DOOMSDAY”. Into that you should be putting “important” documents related to your employment. By “important”, I mean as it relates to your continued employment. So immediately, your offer letter should be in there. As well as anything that is ever given you by HR, Payroll, Finance, Personnel, whatever as it applies to your continued employment. In addition, you should document every significant conversation you ever have with anyone higher than you, lower than you, or in a support organization that has anything to do with your continued employment. Keep your own set of book. Fill out a personal time sheet. Have comp time, keep a record. Keep a score card of what you do. Don’t share it with anyone, store it on their computers, send it over their wire, or even keep it in the office.
Trust me. Some day, you’ll be glad you did.
You’re not doing this to pick a fight or focus on the bad stuff that can happen. (And will happen, if you focus on the negative.) This is to be ready for “war” should a fight break out.
It might get you some leverage in the severance process.
# # # # #
Reinke Faces Life 