EVLYNN: Yet another sad day in my life

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

2014-Jul-01

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

Easier said than done!

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EVLYNN: February 26, 2011 — a day that I’ll never forget

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Evlynn Marie Mahoney Reinke
(July 1, 1947 – February 26, 2011)

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What can I say?

My life changed that day.

And the rush for the finish line began. 

To catch up.

It’s like … missing an essential part of what was “me”.

I don’t know how other folks doit.

One foot in from of the other, I guess.

No sympathy; no pity needed.

I have a great 40+ years. More than most; less than some.

I only regret the days I didn’t treasure what I had.

This ends what I call the “yucky season” — starts are Halloween (She loved the kids at the door and always made a game out of it!) and end at the end of February. Only bad day the rest of the year is 7/1 her birthday.

“This too shall pass.” 

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass 

The phrase appears in the works of Persian Sufi poets, such as Sanai and Attar of Nishapur. Attar records the fable of a powerful king who asks assembled wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad, and vice versa. After deliberation the sages hand him a simple ring with the words “This too will pass” etched on it, which has the desired effect.

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MEMORIES: “But, I want you to be happy.”

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/the-intimacy-of-loss-being-together-in-this-fleeting-moment/

The Intimacy of Loss: Being Together in this Fleeting Moment tranquility.
by Stephen Schettini

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“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” ~Kenji Miyazawa

I love my wife, so it stung the other day when she said, “Hmm … You’re going to have trouble letting me go, aren’t you?”

She’s not walking out on me. You see, she has multiple sclerosis (MS), and she’s referring to the day she can’t walk any more. She’s convinced herself that she can’t handle the guilt of ruining my life, and expects me to leave when she says so.

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On more than one occasion, Frau Reinke broached the same thing. But, even then, I said: “How could I … ” followed by some wise crack. “But, I want you to be happy.”

I knew then and I know know … just ain’t gonna happen.

SO make the best of it, while I wait for the eventual reunion.

“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399

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I ask her what she means by letting her go. She looks me coolly in the eye and says, “I mean, when I can’t function any more, of course. I want you to move on.”
What the hell am I supposed to say to that? What would you say?

I almost blubber, but that’s no way to be there for her—or is it? I tell her she can’t possibly know what awaits her. She raises an eyebrow. She knows all right.

I recognize the moment of indecision. I pause, breathe, and return to the present.

Funny, after eight years as a Buddhist monk with the finest Tibetan teachers and forty years of practice, I sometimes feel I should have a leg up on life’s sufferings. To be floored by a moment like this disables all I learned—the meditative techniques, the philosophy, the calm sense of stability.

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I’ve have had the practice of the teaching so I guess it’s OK for a grown man to cry?

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