The DNA Database Incident
It was a beautiful sunny day when Joe woke. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and all was right with the world.
In a joint Google-Apple-Microsoft-IBM data center, they were just preparing to populate the total DNA global database. It was the result of a decade-long project run out of the Human Genome Project. IBM Watson had been given access to the HG project and all available DNA records. It was asked one question: what was the relationship of the human genome to DNA? Scientists had debated nature versus nurture until they were blue in the face. Nothing had emerged, and there was conflicting anecdotal data on both sides.
Watson worked the problem for a month. The operators could see the process meter—which was only there to keep the humans from pulling Watson offline. All cores were running. Finally, Watson deployed a simple function:
“`
IN = F(THGGNA, T)
“`
The scientists were baffled. What that meant was that the entity was a time-based function, and every human was basically unique in an unpredictable way. A clone wasn’t really identical to the original because of the time function. While the individual and clone may be close enough for transplants, one could be identified uniquely. Bottom line: there could be only one Beethoven, and only one in that place in time.
From that, the scientists developed a unique human identification system. The political elite had always wanted unique tags for people that couldn’t be mimicked or duplicated. The computer jockeys set about generating tags, and life was going to change. The generation was started and left in the care of an operational staff.
And like most things, Murphy’s Law was still in effect and very persistent. During the late night shift, during a rousing game of pizza-tinfoil baseball—using the pizza boxes as bats and the tinfoil from under the pizza rolled up as balls—there was a high fly ball. An operator bumped a solid-state disk drive as it was processing Joe’s record.
Poor Joe. He was now not in the DNA database and a non-person as far as the Universe was concerned. On the plus side, he was never charge for anything he stole, since he didn’t exist. On the minus side, he was never able to do anything that required identification. Poor Joe.
—30—
Posted by reinkefj 







