Dear Miss X:
May I share something that I wish some one had told me when I was your age?
You’ve recently experienced a disappointment. Crushing.
I’ve been rejected in my life.
Many times. Sometimes important; sometimes trivial. Sometimes I cared a lot; sometimes not at all.
In retrospect, I wish I’d known to ask the person rejecting, “Why?”
Robert Burns’ quote is “O would some power the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us.”
The JoHari window http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window tells us that there is a whole “half” that we can see and that can be reduced in half by fining out what other people see.
I suggest that you want to meet the rejector and ask why?
Yup. Face 2 Face.
Ask him why? Why, you weren’t picked? In what dimensions, did you fall short of your peers? What could you have done or could not have done? What preparations could you have done?
See, now you just suspect, but you really really don’t know.
There’s one You Tube Taylor Swift video where as a young girl, she actually thanks a radio host critic for negative feedback. That’s is an astounding revelation that I never had when I was young. To interrogate a critic for feedback and thinking the person for it is a skill far beyond anyone’s years. I wish I’d had it; I wish you’d develop it.
So that’s my “pearl”. Hope I explained it well enough. It’s up to you to “steal” the idea.
I wish I had it when I was you’re age.
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