DARWIN: Grabbing the elevator cables in free-fall and slide down


The Doors: Break On Through
2013 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin

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It is reasonable that elevator doors should open with a determined effort, otherwise people are physically trapped inside elevators when the power fails. It is unreasonable to protect idiots from themselves no matter the extreme. And idiots are made, not born — the person in question had voluntarily swallowed a mix of decision-impairing substances bringing his BAC to 0.17% with a Xanax chaser. Unfamiliar with Xanax, this writer thumbed through the Urban Dictionary and found Xanax described as one of the more addictive benzos with withdrawal effects including psychosis and epileptic-type seizures.
Summary? A DARWIN AWARD is granted to Chad Wolfe, while a STELLA AWARD for legal stupidity is awarded to the Estate of Chad Wolfe.

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Personally, I LOVE the Darwin awards.

Maybe it’s uncharitable, un-Christian, and un-Jasper-like, but I find it hard to be sympathetic to fools.

I have submitted many stories, but only really came close once.

It would be the highlight of my internet “career” to have a winner.

While I’d pray for the topic of the story, stupidity is it’s own reward.


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