EVLYNN: Sharp elbow; warm heart

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

https://www.lulu.com/shop/ferdinand-reinke/sharp-elbow-warm-heart/paperback/product-1k9n26ne.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Sharp elbow; warm heart
Ferdinand Reinke

The journey of a girl born into poverty, 
From a tenement walk up 
… to … 
a quiet passing into heaven 
… with frequent stops: 
to help people, and
love all the children along the way.

The Evlynn Marie Mahoney Reinke story (Version 1.1)

Details Publication Date Jan 26, 2012
Language    English
Category     Biographies & Memoirs
Copyright     All Rights Reserved – Standard Copyright License
Contributors     By (author): Ferdinand Reinke

Specification
Pages    292
Binding Type    Paperback Perfect Bound
Interior Color    Black & White
Dimensions     US Letter (8.5 x 11 in / 216 x 279 mm)

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A sad day for me.  Here’s her story.

—30—   

2025-Jul-01 

https://youtu.be/bD-5OtnoD28

Ricky Gervais has a great answer. ;-(

A tear jerking moment. 

Kudos to him for being authentic.

— 30 —


EVLYNN: The cousin who passed prematurely and Evy was named for

Monday, October 7, 2024

In cleaning out my old home prior to sale, I keep finding memorabilia that makes me sad.  Here’s a photo of Evy’s cousin for who she was named.  She passed away prematurely and I don’t know any more.

—30—


EVLYNN: Had a money management rule for the casino

Monday, July 1, 2024

https://www.casinocitytimes.com/jerry-stickman/article/time-to-leave-the-casino-68717

Time to Leave the Casino?
22 June 2024
By Jerry Stickman

*** begin quote ***

Over the years, there have been different versions of “man on the street” interviews. Typically, someone would ask a random person on the street a general question. This was done to get a feeling for what the general public felt about a topic.

I tried this in a few local casinos. Curious about what the average casino gambler felt about different aspects of casino gambling, I took the questions directly to them. I asked each of the gamblers several questions. This article covers the second question I asked them on the casino floor.

The question this time was “When is it time for you to quit gambling and leave the casino?”

*** end quote ***

Other than one time, she never went “broke”; that was the second time we went.  After that she developed her “envelope system”.  The same one she used for household expense just translated to gambling.  After that disastrous trip, where we ran out by Tuesday, got a refill, and by leaving time on Saturday we were able replace the fill and was substantially ahead, it was time for a better system.  She loved to gamble but hated to lose.

After that “lesson”, she would divide the gambling money into three envelopes per day  — morning, afternoon, and night.  If we tapped out during a session, that was it and we went and did something else.  Otherwise, we’d put what was left back in the envelope and go to the next envelope.  The morning we were leaving, she’s consolidate all the envelopes, return the original stake to an envelope for the next trip, and split the winnings.  She was usually always very lucky; me not so much.  

When people asked her why she continued to split with her “loser” spouse, she would always quickly reply: “I know the day I stop splitting, he’ll his the lottery for millions.”

I never did hit anything big, but she never stopped splitting.

Miss those good trips every time I see a casino advertisement.

Requiescat In Pacem

for

 


EVLYNN: An application caringbridge.org that helps communicte health information with a minimum of “fuss”

Wednesday, November 1, 2023

https://www.caringbridge.org/

Here’s something I used for years to keep family informed while minimizing the effort required.  Here’s how I explained CARINGBRIDGE to our families.

*** begin quote ***

Let me explain. I use CARING BRIDGE to keep my and wife’s family informed about her condition. 

She hates to tell them: feeling she’s always got more bad news to relate, a litany of ailments that is just a never ending kvetch, and it makes her focus on the fact that she’s not going to get better. Ever. The docs are not optimistic about this long term. Everyone refuses to give us a five year estimate. 

So, it is our unspoken secret that: I let them know, they pretend not to know, and she can tell them “happy stories” about how she’s feeling better. :-) She knows I do it, but pretends I don’t. Women are SO complicated. 

I think you might find what I write “cavalier and sometimes upsetting”.  Especially since I write it for a select audience that know how “crotchety” I can be. (When I’m old, I’m going to make some nursing home aide’s life miserable.) 

To a certain extent, I agree with Frau Reinke. The Universe does supply what you focus on.  So it is important for her to stay optimistic and positive. I can be the pragmatic realistic fat old white guy injineer! 

As her PiA (I call it “patient advocate”; she calls it PIA.), I keep all the notes, do the RXes, and generally fuss over her like a mother hen. (I have a lot invested in training her.) Hope you find it helpful, amusing, and distracting from your own more serious load. We’re at the end of the story; your girl is at the beginning.

*** end quote ***

This was a handy “ruse” to prevent the repetition to every one who is concerned.  For those interested, they control their subscription to the news.  It can come in email or text.  Or you can visit the website and read it when your up to it.

Now I know you may or may not on the same path as her.  Eventually you’ll get it all sorted out.  Medicine is much better than it was for her in the 1980’s.  

I have tried to convince others to do CARINGBRIDGE for their loved one, but no one seems to be interested.

You might want someone to do this for you to prevent the “repetition” from getting you down.

You may want to read what I did to get a feel for how to do it.  When my time comes, as it does for all of us, I’ll do my own site.  Laugh!  I am sure that there will be at least one reader  — me.

FWIW YMMV

—30—


EVLYNN: Good thing she had unexplainable “disappering” platelets

Thursday, August 3, 2023
https://www.thedriftmag.com/the-bad-patient/?utm_source=join1440
 
​I read this and I understand the frustration of a “patient” and their caregivers when there are no answers.  Evy and I never met a hematologist that didn’t have a theory about what was her problem.  I used to joke that “we’ve seen  EIGHT hematologists and got NINE opinions, but ZERO solutions.”  Wasn’t trying to be funny!  I tried to keep the records but unfortunately I focused on “the numbers”.  I should have been capturing her journey with all the hurt and frustrations.  Sigh!  I guess there would have been no purpose since as reported in this article; it doesn’t do any good.  Or help anyone struggling with the same issues. Sigh!  Wonder if anyone ever published her journey as a case report.
 
Crazy Old Ferd
 
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*** begin quote ***
 
Another way of putting it is that functional disorders tend to be popularly regarded as — well — fake. Chronic fatigue has been nicknamed “yuppie flu” for a reason. If doctors can’t find a problem, the reasoning goes, then there probably isn’t one. And the line between a “functional disorder” and the simply psychosomatic is thin. In her book on treating people with such disorders, It’s All In Your Head, neurologist Suzanne O’Sullivan notes that IBS is considered by some “a disorder of perception.” Sufferers might be “overly observant of every internal sensation and change in their bowel motions.” By perceiving their symptoms, they conjure them into being. “They are reacting to symptoms that others might dismiss, and those reactions serve to heighten the symptoms and awareness of them,” she writes.
 
*** and ***
 
To other people, this line of argument might sound very familiar, something almost worse than simply not being believed. It’s the tone of a doctor who starts to ask you questions you already recognize as the diagnostic criteria for depression or anxiety. The doctor isn’t dismissive. He (or she) believes you feel all the things you feel. You just don’t understand those feelings. And as you insist on your version of events, you feel increasingly conscious of how much more convincing the doctor’s story is. The weird truth is that I still find the psychosomatic explanation of my own troubles vastly more satisfying than what my illness turned out to be. It provides a bad guy: me.
 
*** end quote ***
 
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Now in Evy’s case, we KNOW something real was going on and it eventually killed her.  If she didn’t have unexplainable “disappering” platelets, then maybe she too would have been written off as “psychosomatic”.
 
I have tremendous sympathy for these so called “psychosomatics”, because there is a HUGE gap in humanity’s knowledge and compassion.
 
Sigh!
 
—30—

EVLYNN: Why was this never mentioned in the 40 years she suffered with juvenile diabetes?

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

https://nutritionfacts.org/audio/the-oatmeal-cure/

Today, we discover the mighty power of oatmeal. Did you know that before there was insulin – there was the “oatmeal cure”?
July 20, 2023
The Oatmeal Cure
Michael Greger, M.D. FACLM, founder of NutritionFacts.org

  • The surprising power of a very unassuming food. This episode features audio from Is Oatmeal Good for People with Diabetes?, How Does Oatmeal Help with Blood Sugars?, and Oatmeal Diet Put to the Test for Diabetes Treatment. Visit the video pages for all sources and doctor’s notes related to this podcast.

*** begin quote ***

The life of many diabetics was saved or prolonged by Carl von Noorden’s oatmeal diet, which he apparently stumbled upon accidentally. Some of his diabetic patients had gastrointestinal issues; so, he put them on oatmeal, and instead of the sugars spilling over into their urine getting worse, they started getting better. He published his findings in 1903, which was received with a great deal of skepticism. But the skeptics were overcome, however, in the following years by the weight of the evidence.

A turning point came when a doctor as notable as James B. Herrick gave it a try. Dr. Herrick is acclaimed for his description of sickle cell anemia, which was originally known as Herrick’s syndrome. When Dr. Herrick began to try out the oatmeal diet on his patients, he was very skeptical, but was astonished by the results. Intense skepticism was how Herrick put it. His first experience in prescribing it was far from encouraging. After taking one or two meals, the patient said, “Doctor, I will die before I taste another spoonful of that oatmeal mush.” And indeed, tragically, she did. Other doctors echoed patient reticence to tolerate so monotonous an equine diet. But in general, Herrick said, he went on to experience little difficulty in putting patients on the oatmeal diet and in keeping them there for a few weeks. And nothing, he reported, was more surprising or more gratifying than the salutary effects he witnessed of the oatmeal diet in diabetes of the young, leading to the 1909 proclamation that no case of juvenile or adolescent diabetes should be deprived of the benefits of the oatmeal cure.

The great Elliott Joslin, founder of the oldest and largest diabetes clinic in the world, described the effects of the oatmeal as sometimes magical, describing the oatmeal cure as an unsolved mystery, referred to back then as one of the greatest puzzles in diabetes. They did have some clues though. They found that animal protein had to be strictly excluded, as it annihilates the favorable action of oatmeal-type diets. They used to use eggs with the oatmeal diet, but they got better results without them.

*** end quote ***

Why was this never mentioned in the 40 years she suffered with juvenile diabetes?

When I heard this episode, I almost drove off the road … … figuratively.

She suffered with the disease for more than 40 years, as did her older brother, and I NEVER EVER heard of read about this.  And, I talked to a lot of “expert endocrinologists” and did tons of reading.

Argh!

Pardon my French, but WTF!

She even like oatmeal and had is occasionally,  She was told moderation because it was “bad” and would elevate her blood sugar.

I wish I could get my hands on ALL the “diabetes docs” that treated her.  Maybe I shouldn’t wish that because I’m sure I’d charged with assault and maybe homicide.

Argh!

After Covid, I had little respect for “medical experts”.  They were a bunch of dupes and quacks.   Now, if possible, my trust level has dropped even further.

I’d have been better off with a Shaman, witch doctor, or a practitioner of Chinese herbal medicine!  At least, they were honestly trying what they knew best and didn’t pretend.

Argh!

Both she and her brother spent time in the care of the Joslin clinic, and never heard about oatmeal!

Argh!

I am so upset and there’s not a thing I can do about it.

—30— 


EVLYNN: Today’s a sad day for me

Saturday, July 1, 2023

It would have been her 76th birthday.

So sad.

Don’t feel like doing much.

—30—


EVLYNN: About this time, some 52 years ago … …

Monday, December 19, 2022

… … a woman married me.  Once again, my life was changed.  I’d say for the better, but who knows.  At this point, I just feel sad and miss her so much. 

“I’ve lost her all over again. I’m so sad that I don’t have her. But I’m so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?” Chuck Noland (Tom Hanks) in “Cast Away” (2000)

“You can’t be afraid. It’s not right to be afraid. It’s as if you don’t trust the Lord with our lives. I’m not a big Bible Banger, but it seems rude to joggle God’s elbow. Like a little kid, who has no concept of what is happening.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 206

“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399

—30—


EVLYNN: 26 February is my suckiest day.

Saturday, February 26, 2022

Sadness
is the daily diet.
Gladness
is the state sought.
Madness
is try to understand.
Happiness
is at the end of the road.

26 February is my suckiest day.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer.

Life is not all babies and birthday parties.

“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399

—30—


EVLYNN: Today we’d have been married for 51 years. Sadly not to be.

Sunday, December 19, 2021

Be remiss if I didn’t cite it.

—30—


EVLYNN: The Value of Sadness | Psychology Today

Wednesday, July 1, 2020

Sadness is often mistakenly confused with depression. Unlike depression, sadness is a natural part of life and is usually connected with certain experiences of pain or loss or even a meaningful moment of connection or joy that makes us value our lives. Depression, on the other hand, can arise without a clear explanation or can result from an unhealthy, non-adaptive reaction to a painful event, where we either steel ourselves against our natural reaction to the event or get overwhelmed by it.

Source: The Value of Sadness | Psychology Today

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What can one do?

“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399

Tearfully putting one foot in front of the other.

—30—


EVLYNN: “Who ever is last will be last.”

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

2019-Feb-26

Today’s a sad day for me.  Interesting that this flowed into my email today.  I always wondered what rare blood disease that took her from us.  Hopefully, someday someone else will not have to go through it. 

“My love, were it in my power, I would sadly grant thee this boon. But, we have to continue to follow His Plan for us. Let’s go forth and speak no more of this. Who ever is last will be last. It will be His choice; not ours. We’re but humble custodians of His temple on earth. It’s not our place to trump His plan. Whatever that plan be, know that I will be with you to my last breath.” — character “John” in CHURCH 10●19●62 Volume 2 Page 399

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https://events-support.com/events/Rare_Disease_Day/page/1947

RARE DISEASE DAY AT NIH

Overview

Sponsored by the National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences and Clinical Center at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), Rare Disease Day at NIH aims to raise awareness about rare diseases, the people they affect and NIH research collaborations under way to address scientific challenges and to advance new treatments. The goals are to:

  • Demonstrate the NIH commitment to helping people with rare diseases through research.
  • Highlight NIH-supported rare diseases research and the development of diagnostics and treatments.
  • Initiate a mutually beneficial dialogue among public and private researchers, patients, patient advocates and policymakers.
  • Exchange the latest rare diseases information with stakeholders to advance research and therapeutic efforts.
  • Put a face on rare diseases by sharing stories of patients, their families and their communities.

Rare Disease Day at NIH will take place on Feb. 28, 2019, from 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. in the main auditorium of the Natcher Conference Center in Building 45 on the main NIH campus in Bethesda, Maryland. 

This year’s event will feature interactive panel discussions and more:

  • Collective research models for rare diseases.
  • Patient registries.
  • Rare cancer research initiatives.
  • No disease left behind, no patient left behind.
  • Posters and exhibits by rare disease groups and researchers.
  • Artwork, videos, and tours of the NIH Clinical Center and National Library of Medicine.
  • New this year will be a presentation of the first ever Zebbie award for the NCATS Rare Diseases are Not Rare! Challenge.

Please note that participants may be photographed or filmed as part of the event for use by the NIH and its designees for all purposes of education, instruction, or public information including publication or broadcast, print, television, radio, the internet, or promotional material. If you do not wish to be photographed, please indicate so on your registration form.

Admission is free, and the event is open to the public, including patients, patient advocates, health care providers, researchers, industry representatives, and government employees. In association with Global Genes®, participants are encouraged to wear their favorite pair of jeans.

# – # – # – # – # 2019-Feb-26 @ 12:14


EVLYNN: Our Girl followed Grentz, Portland, and all the “Mighty Macs”

Monday, July 30, 2018

2018-Jul-30

http://www.dailyitem.com/sports/portland-remembered-most-for-her-friendship/article_738613ab-acfc-5501-9c17-cf315315e3ec.html

She followed them wistfully.  I assume imagining what might have been.

Requiescat In Pacem, Rene.  You’ll have at least one fan to greet you.

# – # – # – # – # 2018-Jul-30 @ 14:10


EVLYNN: Another sad day

Sunday, July 1, 2018

2018-Jul-01

1967 11 XX 2 First evidence of the  fit

1967-11 Engineer’s Ball

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EVLYNN: 47 years ago …

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

… In Bayonne NJ. A wedding in Saint Henry’s. A long time ago far far away.

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EVLYNN: A sad day to be remembered

Saturday, July 1, 2017

2017-Jul-01

Sigh! It would have been her 71st birthday. All that she’s missed. Makes me sad.

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EVLYNN: This day six years ago, my life changed

Sunday, February 26, 2017

1960 00 00 2015 Apr 13 Evy Mahoney

One can help but wonder what might have been?

Requiescat In Pacem

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EVLYNN: Today is her birthday

Friday, July 1, 2016

2016-Jul-01

Our Girl would have been 69 today.

Seems like yesterday.

Makes me so sad.

Requiescat In Pacem

I’ll be there soon.

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EVLYNN: Remember it is the “gift of life”

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

2015-Dec-22

Donated a double yesterday. That brings my total to 109.

In chatting with the nurses, they said “thanks because we are really short of platelets”.

Remember it is the “gift of life”.

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EVLYNN: Yet another bad day

Saturday, December 19, 2015

“It’s how I fill the time when nothing’s happening. Thinking too much, flirting with melancholy.”
― Tim Winton, Breath

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EVLYNN: Another bad day

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

“Nothing thicker than a knife’s blade separates happiness from melancholy.”
― Virginia Woolf, Orlando

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EVLYNN: Yet another bad day

Thursday, February 26, 2015

“Don’t be ashamed to weep; ’tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
― Brian Jacques, Taggerung

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EVLYNN: Yet another bad day

Friday, December 19, 2014

“Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.”
― José N. Harris, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love

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EVLYNN: Thanks, NJ MVC

Thursday, December 4, 2014

You’ve heard me rant that the Gooferment is immoral, ineffective, and inefficient!

Here’s another classic.

Thanks NJ MVC for sending me the renewal for Evelyn’s handicapped placard. 

Now, I know, since there was no money involved, you could care less. (Her social security payment was recaptured within 12 hours of her passing.)

And, there was a NJ estate tax return filed with a copy of the Death Certificate. 

And, there was a NJ Jury Duty notice returned with a copy of the Death Certificate.

And, there was car registration retitled with a copy of the Death Certificate.

And, there was her NJ Drivers’ License renewal returned with a copy of the Death Certificate.

So, I guess you felt it necessary to send me yet another reminder!

Argh!

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EVLYNN: 10,500 ml of my best platelets donated

Friday, August 22, 2014

I was able to donate a “triple”. 10,500 ml of my best platelets. (Laff! Since it’s about 95% of my platelets, it must include my “best”. Fret not, the body replaces them in 24 hours.) I’m told that’s enough to help 6 people. Or more, if the “bank” is short, then I presume they “cut” them. Ev’s bags ranged from a low of 190 ml to a high of 320 ml.

Feel free to join in. It’s truly the “gift of life”.

One of the regulars was a “no show”, so can you fill in?

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EVLYNN: Death and grief is universal

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/07/when-a-spouse-dies-abroad/372672/

When a Spouse Dies Abroad
Compounding the grief of loss are mountains of paperwork.
SOPHIA MALEKINJUL 5 2014, 12:30 PM ET

*** begin quote ***

When I finally reemerged, something about me was different. I was less afraid of how I appeared to others and more certain of how I wanted to live. Perhaps I was a little more reckless too. I became more creative. I painted a lot, something I’d let slide with the arrival of my children. You could say that I became more selfish, but as a consequence I also became stronger, and that made me more useful to others.

There is something about the lack of choice in the whole process of grief, the sheer overwhelming power of it—it rushes in like a huge wave, and in the end it forces surrender. From that surrendered state, answers did eventually arrive, but through a very different door than the questions. They came in stealthily. I am not sure precisely when, but I started to find that the questions mattered less. My anger subsided. Gradually I became aware of the everyday happiness of being alive again.

That simple, everyday happiness is not a mundane idea. It is really life’s essence. While I felt, and still feel, that life, like the ocean, can be treacherous, it is also vast and beautiful. It fills me with wonder.

*** end quote ***

Death, any death, is traumatic.

The closer the relative the harder it is.

And closing an estate is often easier said than done.

In the end, all you have is the sadness and loneliness of the “missing”.

Argh!

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