FUN: do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

http://www.feld.com/blog/archives/2008/08/political_joke.html

August 19, 2008 5:43 PM
Political Joke of the Day

*** begin quote ***

I have no idea where this joke came from, but I couldn’t resist posting it because it combined Alaska, Massachusetts, Democrats, Republicans, Guns, the Pope, and a Grizzly Bear.

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the PopeMobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a ‘Save the Whales’ hat and a ‘To Hell with Bush’ T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.

As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear’s chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear’s grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. ‘I give you my blessing for your brave actions!’ he told them. ‘I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic environmental activists but now I’ve seen with my own eyes that this is not true.’

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies ‘Who was that guy?’

‘It was the Pope,’ another replied. ‘He’s in direct contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.

‘Well,’ the logger said, ‘he may have access to all wisdom but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to go back to Massachusetts and get another one?’

# – # – #

ROFL!

# # # # #

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: The movie “The Bucket List”

Tuesday, August 5, 2008
From the movie "The Bucket List"

From the movie "The Bucket List"

Frau and I watched this the other night on Comcast OnDemand. Hey for five bucks why shlep to a theater.

I found it funny and insightful. I don’t care that the premise was absurd. I don’t care about the flubs in the movie of a technical nature (i.e., identical heart rates; ripped up lists; unlimited money). It was a morality play of sorts.

I’ve begun working on my list! You?

# # # # #

1 Comment | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: Joke wiith a political message!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008
From the Free State Project Dot Org

From the Free State Project Dot Org

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: I love it when a plan comes together

Saturday, June 28, 2008

From Luddite’s wife:

Copied from a forward.

*** begin quote ***

Okay, here’s the plan:

1) Back off and allow those men who want to marry men, marry men.
2) Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women.
3) Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies.
4) In three generations, there will be no democrats!!!

I love it when a plan comes together

*** end quote ***

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: “Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?”

Monday, June 23, 2008

“Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?” he once mused. “Are they afraid someone will clean them?”

George Carlin died. I thought he held up stupidity to ridicule. Adult, but funny. Necessary for a society that does so many stupid things. Wouldn’t want a steady diet of him on TV; better than what passes for the 11PM news! imho

# # # # #

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: a faux quote

Friday, May 30, 2008

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/15146

Come up with a faux quote, win a book!
by David K. Israel – May 28, 2008 – 4:49 AM

*** begin quote ***

If you missed our interview with David Pratt, author of the new book The Impossible Takes Longer: The 1,000 Wisest Things Ever Said by Nobel Prize Laureates, go check it out and then come on back because today, we’re giving away a copy to one creative reader. Here’s how to win the book:

Come up with a clever, witty, fake quote and attribute it to a notable person (real, mythological, fictitious, it’s up to you). For instance, what if the great mathematician Archimedes (of “Eureka!” fame), had said this one night after a satisfying meal with his wife:

*** end quote ***

MY ENTRY:

“Free the slaves? But only in areas that I have no control over. And, that will make me an icon of freedom. Who’d believe that I freed any slaves at all? No one is that dumb!”

“Honest” Abe Lincoln,
who ‘freed’ the slaves,
to his Press Secretary,
right before he fired him and
threw him in a military prison
got suspicion of terrorism.

:-)

# # # # #

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: TWO WAYS TO LOOK AT EVERYTHING

Monday, May 26, 2008

FROM MY LUDDITE FRIEND

Disclaimer: He is a vacuum cleaner of all sorts of inet forwards. He seems to get every kind of junk mail from friends and relatives which he shares some with me that he feels are “interesting’? Luckily, I don’t have many friends or relatives. At least the kind that send this stuff along. (Although I do have one wacky one who is into “inspirational” chain mails. Have to watch her carefully, lest she fly off on angel’s wings to Nigeria!) But every once and while, Luddite comes up with one that is worth sharing. Here’s one. With no attribution or identification. For your reading pleasure, a bit of humor from Luddite!

*** begin quote ***

TWO WAYS TO LOOK AT EVERYTHING

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, ‘Do you know her?’ ‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

So you see, there really are 2 ways to look at everything

*** end quote ***

LOL!

Wives do have a unique ability to return husbands to reality. Usually with a thump. This just highlights that eternal truth.

Not every psychological ‘eureka’ has to be a stuffy principle. Sometimes they can come disguised as a joke.

Submitted for what it is worth to you.

# # # # #

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: shouldas, couldas, and wouldas

Saturday, May 3, 2008

The shouldas, couldas, and wouldas will kill you.

“Should have” indicates remorse over the non-choice of an competing option. (I should have had a baked potatoe as opposed to the french fries I did have.)

“Could have” indicates remorse over a choice that wasn’t known to be available at decision time. (I didn’t know that baked sweet potatoes were an option.)

“Would have” indicates remorse over not being able to take subsequent choice which was precluded by an earlier decision. (If I hadn’t eaten so many french fries, I’d have had room for a slice of apple pie.)

# # # # #

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: What does a Project Manager DO?

Friday, April 4, 2008

FROM LUDDITE

*** begin quote ***

What does a Project Manager DO?

Project Managers are a fortunate lot, for, as everyone knows, a project manager has nothing to do; that is, except…

To decide what is to be done;
to tell somebody to do it;
to listen to reasons why it should not be done,
why it should be done by somebody else,
or why it should be done in a different way;
and to prepare arguments in rebuttal that shall be convincing and conclusive.

And then:
To follow up to see if the thing has been done;
to discover that it has not been done;
to enquire why it has not been done;
to listen to excuses from the person who did not do it;
and to think up arguments to overcome the excuses.

And then:
To follow up a second time to see if the thing has been done;
to discover that is has been done incorrectly;
to point out how it shall be done;
to conclude that as long as it has been done it might as well be left as it is;
to wonder if it is not time to get rid of the person who cannot do a thing correctly;
to reflect that in all probability any successor would be just as bad, or worse.

And finally:
To consider how much more simply and better the thing would have been done had he done it himself in the first place;
to reflect satisfactorily that if he had done it himself he would have been able to do it right in 20 minutes and that as things turned out, he himself spent two days trying to find out why it is that it has taken somebody else three weeks to do it wrong.
To realise that such an idea would have a very demoralising effect on the project team, because it would strike at the very foundation of the belief of all employees that a project manager has nothing to do.

*** end quote ***

Obviously he’s not working as hard as I am.

:-)

# # # # #

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

FUN: Why Are Wedding Dresses White?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

From: Frau Reinke’s High School Chum
Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2008 7:38 PM
Subject: Why Are Wedding Dresses White?

*** begin quote ***

I’d take a bet that this guy never said this loud enough so his wife can hear this:

>Son asked his mother the following question:
>
> “Mom , why are wedding dresses white?” The mother replies, “Son, this shows everyone that your bride is pure.”
>
> The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. “Dad why are wedding dresses white?”
>
> The father looks at his son in surprise and says, “Son, all household appliances come in white.”

*** end quote ***

# – # – #

No sucker money here. But, it is funny. Especially in today’s day and age.

# # # # #

Leave a Comment » | FUN | Permalink
Posted by reinkefj

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »