Reinke Faces Life

Check it out. I just Scrooged myself. Have a look by clicking on the link below. http://www.scroogeyourself.com/?id=1341328175 This holiday greeting brought to you by OfficeMax®.

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“‘Status quo,’ as you know, is Latin for ‘the mess we’re in…'” Attributed to former President Ronald Reagan

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FROM LUDDITE’S WIFE:

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Merry Christmas – Ireland is the best of course

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A Christmas card from Europe’s Railroad – click all the destinations…

Enjoy!!!!

http://downloads.raileurope.com/holidayCard/06_christmas_card.html

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Some one, some where, has too much time on their hands!

But, it was funny.

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FROM LUDDITE’S WIFE, A QUITE RELIGIOUS WOMAN WITH A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR

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Nativity Scene

There will be no Nativity Scene in the United State Congress this year
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene
in the United States capital this Christmas season.

This isn’t for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to
find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation’s capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

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All too true!

LOL

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Aq00yJSxo

If it’s real, … perhaps “Mom” missed a few lessons at school.

Amazing how this stuff gets out and takes on a life of its own.

Just reinforcing the stereo types.

Sigh!

Ignoring the Church’s tradition in scholarship and inquiry.

Saint Thomas Moore versus the Inquisition.

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FROM MY FACEBOOK WALL

Personally you can call me “ebeneezer” before the three visitors. It just seems that bad things come at the end of the year. Wall Street layoffs (got me once)! Holiday party gaffes (some are funny since they didn’t happen to me and have led me to the “No drinking around Colleague, Coworkers, or Bosses” rule), and DWIs (hasn’t happened to me; not bloody likely either; see item two)! Divorces, Separations, Abuse, and all amount of familial and marital discord! Just seems to be more frequent at this time of year. So, I’ll just be the grinch over the corner. And, I hope the Intelligent Designer, the Universe, or whatever star you follow allows you to come through unscathed and happy. Now if we could just do something about that other plague of Biblical proportions which sucks the life out — politicians, then maybe I COULD celebrate.

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http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9565428332

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9566325289

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ

rofl!

http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/016406.html

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I am reminded of an incident that occurred during the “Reign of Terror” in France. It was a busy day for the guillotine, as the condemned lined up to face their fates. The first person, a young man, was led to the scaffold, placed face up on a long board; the order of execution was read, and the signal was given for the blade to drop. It did, but – due to a malfunction – it stopped less than two feet from the head of the condemned man. The official in charge observed that, as the man had gone through the ceremony, to have repeated it would constitute double jeopardy. He was thus released and allowed to go free.

The next victim, a woman, went through the same ordeal, with the blade dropping to within a foot or two of her neck and she, too, was released. This happened two more times, much to the consternation of the execution officials. Finally, a condemned man – who happened to be an engineer – was led to the scaffold, forced to lie face up on the board, and listen as his order of execution was read. Just as the blade was about to drop, he looked up and exclaimed: “I see the problem!”

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Obviously an urban legend. A real injineer would have fixed the problem after the first malfunction. Try it again and hope for magic is Microsoft attribute.

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http://www.flixxy.com/tiny-car-review.htm

Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson reviews the tiniest car ever manufactured and shows you the possibilities when getting around the office.

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The Peel P50 was a three-wheeled microcar manufactured in 1962 by the Manx Peel Engineering Company. It was designed as a town car and was advertised as capable of seating “one adult and a shopping bag”. The car currently holds the record for the smallest-ever automobile to go into mass production, at just 134 cm (53 in) long and 99 cm (39 in) wide, with a weight of only 59 kg (132 lb). The vehicle’s only door was on its left side, and equipment included a single windscreen wiper, and only one headlight. The P50 used a 49 cc DKW engine which gave it a top speed of approximately 61 km/h (38 mph), and was equipped with a three-speed automatic transmission that had no reverse gear. Consequently, reverse motion could only be achieved by pushing, or lifting the car using the handle on the rear and physically pulling it round. Despite its diminutive stature, the Peel P50 is street legal in the UK.

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What a hoot!

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FROM ONE OF FRAU REINKE’S HIGHSCHOOL BBALL TEAM AND RUNNING MATES

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NEW TURKEY RECIPE

1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes.
2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully.
3. Roast according to your own recipe and serve.
4. Watch your guests’ faces…

Scroll down

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

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As the the big fat old turkey hisself, I fail to see the humor in this. But since Frau laughed, I thought it was blogable.

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http://stuff.co.nz/stuff/4253595a6011.html

8 tonnes of cement drop in for a drink
By SONIA GERKEN – The Southland Times | Monday, 29 October 2007

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A building project next door to the Howl at the Moon restaurant and bar in Gore’s Main St literally burst through the wall on Friday, sending 4000L of wet concrete spewing into the dining area.

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Sounds like a college prank except this was for real.

Since no one was physically hurt, it’s good for a laugh.

If you want to see the difference in cultures, read the reporting. How calm! “… it was hoped insurance would cover everything”.

How civilized!

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An urban legend, but this is how I heard it.

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Back in the 1950s, men wore hats as part of their business attire.

An IBM sales rep, new on the job, was going to call on a key customer in Texas. The old sales rep met him for he was to introduce the new rep. The old rep was aghast that the new rep had no cowboy hat. “You’ll never be taken seriously”, he advised. So the stopped at the local Stetson dealer, and the new rep purchased a fine $100 Stetson cowboy hat. (In the Fifties, a hundred dollars was “real money; not like today!) The meeting went well and the new rep was warmly greeted by the client.

Everything was right with the world.

In preparing his Sales Report, the new sales rep also prepared his expense report. Of course, he attached all his receipts as part of his expenses as required by the IBM policy, including the one for the hat.

His boss returned the expense report, telling him to “lose the hat.” While the rep felt it was needed that didn’t matter. It was not on the official schedule of reimbursable expenses. And so the company wouldn’t pay for a hat!

So, the sales rep turned in a new expense report … for the same amount, but with no line in the report for the hat. In response to his boss’ questioning look, the man said, “Find the hat.”

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Obviously a urban legend since no one at IBM would have ever been so confrontational.

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What was interesting in this session is the player to my far left was playing “hunches”. Varying her bet and varying her bonus play.

Guess what?

She was wiped out.

Note: 5Aces400x; StraightFlush50x; FourOfKind25x; Fullhouse5x; Flush4x; ThreeKind3x; Stright2x

If she’d have just played the bonus for the 5$/hand, she’d have been rolling in it. She was catching a bonus had every other hand. If I have had her cards, I’d have been loaded.

So that brings up the essential question. Are you playing to win the hand or the bonus?

Still don’t have an playing or exit strategy. This time I used the clock (i.e., meet for lunch or meet to go home). There has to be a better way.

Next time:
* Play at a low minimum table.
* Always play the bonus for the full five dollar stake.
* Since we are going to limit our losses, cap the loss (i.e., a “wall” of five soldiers?).

We are seeking a winning streak. A two win streak replaces one soldier. Use the breakage from the first win to advance the line and bonus bet? The commission on a 20$win gives you back a 19$. Increase you line bet and bonus bet by five each? Hole the nine for the next commission. If you win that second bet, you’ll get a full soldier back. If it wasn’t a bonus win, use the extra five to bump the bonus again. It’s all about playing more when you are winning and less when you are losing.

Comments welcome?

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session #1 at a 60$ table

push
22txxxx loss
push
push
akqxxxx lose
22xxxxx lose
99axxxx push
444q9xx push bonus15
777axxx win bouns15
77kqxxx push
jjjaqxx won bonus15
tt66axx push
akqjxxx lose
akqjt97 push bonus10
wakqxxx win
999atxx win bonus15
88qxxxx push
66qtxxx lose
ttt22ax win bonus25
wjtxxxx lose

won about $24.

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http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=21;t=001076;p=1

“A Few Good Salesmen”.

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Sales: “You want answers?”

Finance: “I think we are entitled to them!”

Sales: “You want answers?!”

Finance: “I want the truth!”

Sales: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!”

Sales (continuing): “Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who’s going to find it? You? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at the sales division and you curse our lucrative incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives in revenue. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don’t want to know the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at staff meetings … you want me on that call. You NEED me on that call! We use words like comps, pipelines, discounts, value add & global purchase agreements. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating something. You use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some sales calls. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!”

Finance: “Did you expense the lap dances?”

Sales: “I did the job I was hired to do.”

Finance: “Did you expense the lap dances?”

Sales: “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!!!”

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ROFL!

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Date: Thu, 15 Aug 1996 10:41:09 -0500
From: Cereal Killer
Subject: truck driver and priest <off to layers>

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud “THUMP” and then he would swerve back onto the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?”. “I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road!”, replied the priest. “No problem, Father! I’ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck”. The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud “THUD”.

Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer”.

“That’s okay”, replied the priest. “I got him with the door!

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Obviously an urban legend. A priest might be out walking, but a lawyer?!?

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Gnomic whizdumb

“do, or do not. there is NO try!”

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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dotcomrade&defid=2615424

An [Internet] acquaintance; someone you chat with but have never actually met.

“So who’s this NrdPowr32 guy?”
“I dunno. Just a dotcomrade of mine.”

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http://duckdown.blogspot.com/2007/10/quote-of-day-october-15th-2007.html

Quote of the Day: October 15th 2007
One man with courage makes a majority…
posted by James McGovern

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I love it when some one hits the nail on the head.

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http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/stage/comedy/article2658656.ece

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6 Paul Merton “I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. If they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?”

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lol.

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Memory lane. Back at my alma mater for a meeting and I’m sitting on the Quad where I went to High School from 60 to 64. Sigh! How things have changed. Never mind the girls all over. I saw two students walk down Senior Walk and two different guys at different times cut across the grass. Another student just walked down Senior Walk. Stunning. Sitting here just thinking about what could have been. Sigh! Almost five decades. How little I knew ad how little I appreciated. Different eras.

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Memory lane. Back at my alma mater for a meeting and I’m sitting on the Quad where I went to High School from 60 to 64. Sigh! How things have changed. Never mind the girls all over. I saw two students walk down Senior Walk and two different guys at different times cut across the grass. Another student just walked down Senior Walk. Stunning. Sitting here just thinking about what could have been. Sigh! Almost five decades. How little I knew ad how little I appreciated. Different eras.

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http://www.bodoglife.com/casino/free-pai-gow-poker.jsp

Getting warmed up for my next session at the ATM. (Isn’t that what every one calls Atlantic City?)

Interesting game.

At 20$/hand and 5$ for the bonus bet, it is gambling!

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2007 Nominations now being accepted

While every blog entry is brilliant, important, prescient, funny, pragmatic, and above all eternally valuable, here, in the tradition of parades, dog shows, and beauty contests everywhere, are my potential “winners”.

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The Theme Trophy for establishing the blog’s “voice”

The Judge’s Special Trophy for the post I liked most

The Fantasy Trophy for the best the way it SHOULD be

The President’s Trophy for Best Depiction of Life in the United States

The Governor’s Trophy for best NJ issue

The Mayor’s Trophy for Most Outstanding Kendall Park Entry

The International Trophy for an entry about Outside the United States

The Morris the Cat Trophy for best animal post

The Alan Greenspan Trophy for the best comment about Money

The Johnny Carson Trophy for the Most Comical and Amusing

The Albert Einstein Trophy for the best original idea

The Jasper Lawyer’s Trophy for the most strident political entry

The Big Turkey’s Trophy for the best Job Search Advice

The Massad Ayoob Trophy for the most read Gun post

The Luddite’s Trophy for the post that got him to comment

The Princess’ Trophy for the Most Beautiful Entry mentioning Frau

And

The Best In Show

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-30-

All too true!

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