Reinke Faces Life

Dear John,

I didn’t know. Thank you for letting me know. Ev was so special — I would have written that “she was the dream team” and not “a member of the dream team.” Nothing seemed impossible with Ev on your side. Didn’t realize how hard and serious her health battle was.

From our brief exchange, she seemed pleased with her life. Not so many can say that. And you must miss her terribly.

She’ll be in my prayers and in my thoughts. I sent the clipping to my sister who played on Benedictine’s basketball team — our arch rival. Ev was loved by all!

Love,
Jane

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[JR: Thanks for those kind words. I’m not surprised. That she always minimized her own health and that she understated her role in the HFA victories. And, I always felt nothing was impossible. Except we never did hit that multi-million progressive. So I guess some things WERE impossible.]

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From: john
To: Jane
Sent: Fri Mar 04 10:20:47 2011
Subject: Passing along some sad news.

Dear Ms. Jane,

I’m just going through all the old email and cleaning up. If you hadn’t heard, I just wanted you to know that Ev passed. She enjoyed catching up with you. Just wanted you to know, she was pleased.

Donna Nobis Pacem,
fjohn

# # # # # posted 2011-03-04 12:30

http://1000memories.com/evy-reinke/stories/3905-my-dear-friend-evy

My Dear Friend Evy
By Marge

Sometimes when people express their love for someone that they have lost start out by saying one word could describe so and so. Not true in this case, there are so many words that describe our Evy. Her love for her family and friends and especially for her “Johnny”. She loved her kids, from the time they were little to grown, and when their children came along the love grew even more. Her generosity was never ending, always seeing and making sure everybody had everything they wanted or needed. Even people she didn’t know, reading a newspaper article of someone who was in need, she would find out a way to help. She was always considerate of your feelings, a good listener, she could even name all my brothers and sisters and I’m one of 12! If I mentioned a niece or nephew she knew what sibling they belonged to. That’s a true friend, one who listens. I’m sure you have many words of your own that describe Evy, but here are a few that ring to mind when I think of Evy. Easy going, friendly, funny, hard working, honest, kind, smart, wise, moral, compassionate, selfless, optimistic, trustworthy, positive, loyal, bright, cheerful, out going, lucky, big hearted, down to earth, a peace maker, always a lady, gracious, a fighter to the bitter end, Irish, but the most of all loved. I’m sure I’ll think of many more. We all have great memories and our own words to remember Evy, we’ll never forget you Evy, you will be truly missed my dear friend.

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http://1000memories.com/evy-reinke/songs/450-leaving-on-a-jet-plane

Leaving On A Jet Plane
By Peter, Paul, and Mary

A hit that became “our song” when I received my draft notice and joined the Air Force. We had became engaged. We were saving ourselves and money for the wedding and to start a life together. But were waiting to actually marry until after I graduated from Manhattan. Promises made to the two Moms. Then, I was drafted immediately. This was another delay. We, really me, but she agreed, decided that we had to wait until we had some stability. I could be going to be cannon fodder in Viet Nam. So, in January when I got notice for a 01 February 1970 induction, this became our song. Absence would either make the heart grow fonder or else. A great wind can blow out a match or fan a forest fire. We were both afraid the separation would kill what we had. Or even worse, it would kill me leaving her behind. So the song really captured what we were both feeling. Even later in life, it made us closer. If such was possible.

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” … … Oh babe, I still hate to go.”

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Memories
By Jacki Bleacher Morales

So, today was a very hard day. I sit here thinking of all the things that Evlynn has taught me , helped me with, helped me thru, helped my children with and helped my children thru. I truly have thousands of memories. I am so lucky because I have double memories. I have work and family memories. We have laughed and cried together,talked for hours on the phone together, shopped together, taught the kids how to drive together. We watched them get their drivers licenses together. We watched them play on the beach a million times, Mom/Auntie Ev come in the water a million times. Let’s play cards, lets walk the board walk, lets play games a million time- frogs lets play frogs & goofy water balloon games. Trying to win ~ oh how she won~ just about every time. A toy for every kid, no kid left out as that wouldn’t be fair. I think Christmas was her favorite time of the shopping year. Toys R Us was her favorite spoil zone. LOL ! She loved to spoil them all, no matter what it was they wanted that year we seemed to find it. Every Christmas Eve- Chinese take out and then a thousand times can we do presents, please please please. That was her favorite part of the night. Watching the boys opening their gifts. We watched them play football & baseball & soccer. Plays and little shows and Graduations. We watched them grow up together, she never left me, she never left them. I am thankful for all that she taught me as a young professional. I learned so much from her and was one of my biggest fans when I decided to go back to school for my degree.

I am so thankful that she was in my life. She was the most generous person I have ever known. I miss her already. She gave me so many things, but one thing is in my China Cabinet, she gave me a decorated frame with a saying in it; she gave it to me at her party she threw after her first long stay in the hospital it reads:

Friends Forever

Friends stand by each other in times of sadness and times of joy. You have always been around to make me smile and to keep the tears away. Thank you for being a great friend. You will always hold a special place in my heart.

Funny she should give this me when it was her that helped me keep a lot of tears away.

So, to my Dear Sweet Mrs. Reinke/Ev/Auntie Ev- I say thank you for being my Best Friend for so many years. Love you always & forever. Jacki

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Cathy Joyce | February 27, 2011

Jackie that is so beautiful. I am so sorrry for your loss. You and your sons were a source of pride and joy for Ev. You have been a dear and true friend! God bless you.

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After escaping Saint Peter’s Hospital after her first brush with death — CHF, heart attack, and unexplained blood loss that just “stopped on its own”, she decided to have a party. In the hospital, she was sad that she’d never had a chance to say “thanks, i love you” to a bunch of people. She was going to fix that. Since she was walking and talking I was happy. Confused (What else was new?), but happy? So I say: “OK! What would you like to do?”

She, with that impish gleaming smile that all Irish girls can unleash when they really want to turn a man to putty or something else, said: “I want a ‘Thank You’ party where I give out some gifts.” “Like a Christmas Party?” “No more formal.” “Like a wedding reception. With everyone happy.” “OK, a wedding reception, without a bride and groom, where you give the gifts. Sure, we can do that.” “And, I want all the pictures of my life lined up for everyone to see how lucky and blessed I’ve been.” “OK.” “And, I want to pay for it out of my money. And, you can’t change anything.” “OK, for you Princess, anything.” … and I don’t have to pay anything. Sounded to good to be true. So she threw herself into it. And, pulled it off. I was pushed out and the woman folk took over.

At the party, I find out she’s written a little speech.

Here’s that speech recreated from her notes.

===

To all our friends and extended families:

We are extremely fortunate to have all of you in our lives. Cherished memories we have of all the good times out smiles on our faces every time we think of them.

First, I would like to thank everyone for coming. It means a lot to me to see all my family and friends.

I would like to begin by thanking some people who couldn’t be with us today. Mainly, my parents Peg and Jack.

We didn’t grow up with a lot of money, but we knew we were loved. And, they instilled in us a great sense of caring and charing. Also, discipline was a “big” word in my Mom’s vocabulary and I thank God everyday for having wonderful parents.

Also, John’s grandparents “Grandma & Grandpa” who loved everyone unconditionally.

A cute story about Grandma. Everyone called her “grandma”. My nephew Scott had a black friend named Eric. One day Scott and Eric rode their bikes to my house. I asked what they were up to. Eric said: “Oh we just visited Grandma!”

One of my treasured compliments in life was when Grandpa Ed told me “I was a good little driver for a girl”.

Next, I would like to thank John’s Mom for raising a caring and loving son. She worked very hard to see that he received a great education. My Mom told me when I met the guy I was to marry make sure he and his mom have a strong relationship because how he treats his mom is how he will treat you. So please raise glasses and toast Marge for a job well done. Also to Diddy, John, and Patti for always being their (sic) for John as he was growing up.

To Aunt Kay, for always sending special cards for all occasions. We always look forward to receiving them.

Aunt Jenette, my Godmother, for letting me eat lunch every school day at her house when Mom was working.

Now Scott. My favorite memories of Scott growing up was playing catch. One day I made the mistake of doing play by play as we were throwing the ball. I’d say: “Ball hit to Silvay. Throw to Reinke at first. Batter out.” Well from that day forward we could never play catch unless we did the play by play. Also we would be out there for hours and I’d get tired so I’d start throwing the ball over his head, or way to his left, and make him chase the ball. It took him a long time before he realized what I was doing. Based on this story, (giving him a picture of her brother Jack with Scott who was wearing a baseball uniform) I hope when you look at his picture, it will remind you of the hours we played catch.

Megan. The best memory is our trip to California where Megan got introduced to Dungeoness crabs and we would go to the warf every day and have crabs for lunch. After SanFran, we went to LA and Meg’s big thing was to visit Hard Rock Cafes. As we walked in, Meg saw a denim jacket with the Hard Rock logo on it. We got seated for lunch and Meg scarfed down her hamburger and fries. She said: “Auntie Ev, can I go see how much the jacket is?” I said sure. She comes back and says: “It’s only 80 dollars.” Folks that’s almost 20 years ago. $80 was a lot of money. I said we’d have to think about it. On the way out, softy Uncle John hands Meg $100 and says “Get the jacket.” Well that jacket was worth the money. She wore it everywhere and was the only one at school with it. Every time she wore it, people would ask where we got it. In keeping with tradition, Madison please come up here and see Auntie Ev. (Giving her a Hard Rock jean jacket)

Jacki. What can I say. We laughed, cried, and laughed again. My fondest memories are at the beach house where every summer you’d swear you were not going home but staying at the beach. Also our late hour runs to the boardwalk to get zeppoles.Here is a token of our friendship that I cherish very much. Also, thanks to Jackie’s Mom, Salie, for raising a caring and generous daughter.

To my buds CJ and Matt. For keeping me young. All our after school chats. Our trips to McDonald’s, Wendy’s, the Sub Shop, Confects. And all the fun times at the beach house. Uncle John and I love you very much and are glad you are part of our lives.

Last but not least. John. What can I say? How could one girl from Bayonne get so lucky to find a terrific husband. On our wedding day, you told me how important our vows meant. In sickness and in health. Well health was good for a short time. In sickness, you were there every day for hours at the hospital through every procedure making sure I got the best of care.

For richer or poorer. We were pretty poor in the beginning. Military didn’t pay a lot. Remember on our way home to visit our parents, we would sing in the car: “We don’t have a barrel of money, maybe we’re ragged and funny, but we’ll travel along side by side.”

For richer. You have provided a freat life for us. All our vacations. Anything I want, all I have to say and you get for it me.

Also you have been very generous in helping family members in need. Never asking questions.

So here is a gift (an inscribed watch) that I hope that every time you look at it you will remember just how much I love you and I thank God every night for bringing you into my life.

— 30 —

[JR: This is her recollection. I’m sure there are some ‘memory errors’ that diminish her role, and magnify mine.]

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Stories from yday

• poncho
• take a something to ensure coming back
• smoke breaks
• alaska cruise
• weldotron spreadsheets
• passbook banking
• post-tax Principal Financial check
• young couple aruba
• grandma at turning stone
• Marion in VT
• Barnstable airport
• fight at Carswell over transfer seeking to Ohio
• 299$ three rooms of furniture
• Langley mortgage; how will we pay for it
• 60k at Geico in 1972; please stay
• 28/1 team
• mystery diagnosis: 63 day at SP, 45 days at RWJ, 75 days at RWJ
• Fremont kitchen
• tuberculosis; 6 months of rioazmid(?)
• “Just one day, I’d like …”
• Hawaii for her Mom
• The envelope system
• saving for our wedding
• buying the Nova; half and half
• Her walker
• Father Capano take the uniform money for chairs
• Lucky Chair #5
• Her reaction to BLOODDOC#5 “not assertive”
• “I’d be disappointed …”
• “”Evlynn Marie””
• “No, I won’t marry you. We can be friends.” 7/1 year after.
• “Don’t make a fuss.”
• HORSE with her “boys”
• Food shopping with Russ and Bob
• Call to come home; return with care packages
• Ski trip before marriage; Hunter Mountain with Kattie and Gene
• “”We had to get married.”” at Christmas time
• “Your girlfriend doesn’t write”
• Riding bike, she told us.
• Security briefing
• Cop that followed her home
• In a West Virginia wedding
• Fort Meade commissary
• Luck faded over the years
• Eric jacket
• Losing Megan
• Frenchy forgetting Megan
• Pete’s condolence call

# # # # # posted 2011-03-01 06:50

First Thoughts … …

By F John Reinke

lame it all on Cathy Gauthier Joyce. She went got married as all young girls are want to do. And, she invited her workmates to join. Two agreed. Hey, weddings are great places to pick up guys, right? No, girls don’t think that way, but back to the story. So, these two Bayonne girls think nothing of hopping a bus to the city and train to the end of the line. Pop out the station and you’re at Good Shepherd Church. (Those who have succumbed to reading my massive ego trip will recognize that locale.) And, they’re there for the wedding.

Since it’s a small wedding and Irish, they were immediately welcomed into the family. As if they’d never left. You have met Momma Diddy? And, they both knew one of the bosses, Mrs. Reinke, from AT&T, they did not feel out of place. Especially after Big John pronounced Mary Serizwold, Sir-Iz_wald, Serrizzewald, (OK, Mary with the big miggupies in my fat old white guy injineer terms.) as an official Irish lass, they were part of the family. You have met Big John right?

Despite pleadings of the family to join in the party, and sticking to their guns that they had to get home before curfew. Using the excuse that they had a long long trek, despite being given their choice of chauffeurs Mickey’s son John or Diddy’s son Peter, they demurred. Aunt Pattie and Aunt Rita were offered as chaperones. To prevent any appearance of impropriety. And, Mrs. Reinke would call both their Moms personally and immediately to get approval of the arrangement. They still persisted to take the Subway. So some of the wedding guests escorted them to the Subway, through the turnstiles — paying the token each — and stood with them on the platform. The train departed with everyone waving. These two young girls escaped the Venus fly trap and made it home safely.

(I have no reports of their reactions, discussions, or impressions. But later, any time the topic was discussed in the presence of Ms. Mahoney and Ms. Serizwald, there were looks between them, followed by hysterical laughter, and a joint trip to the ladies room. Some how, I don’t think they were impressed.)

The new Mrs. Joyce returns from the honeymoon and goes back to work. This fat old white guy injineer wanted to date a “foreign” girl. Jersey was pretty foreign. I’d dated young ladies from all over the “globe”. From as far south as Dykman Avenue and as far North as Crestwood NY (a glorified ritzy suburb of Yonkers). So as the man said “Go West, Young Man.” Where the wild women are. I asked my cousin, the new Mrs. Joyce, to be the Irish version of a Shadchen, what the uninformed would call a Yenta, you know a Matchmaker.

(At this point in the story there is a substantive disagreement on the facts of the matter. The two young ladies who might be crudely described by a less gentlemanly person as myself, as Gams and Muggupies. Shocking I know but there are males out there who do think that way. Or so I am told. I don’t know any like that. Nor would I associate with such that would do that. I’m sure that knowing my proclivities, I would have requested Muggupies; not Gams. The only other party to the transaction, Mrs. Joyce, insists I requested Gams. This issue is still in dispute. I assert that somewhere in this, someone’s thumb was on the scale. Ms. Joyce, being friends with both young women, may have had an agenda. Perhaps punishing her cousin for using such labeling. Perhaps now as an “old” married women, she knew what was best. Perhaps even there may have been some collusion, like a female tribal meeting, where some decision was made in the best interest of Little Johnny Reinke.)

After several reminders, she inquired if Ms. Mahoney would accept a call from Little Johnny Reinke. (Here too there is a further dispute as to the facts of the matter. Ms. Mahoney always maintained she was just doing Mrs. Joyce a favor to stop her cousin’s nagging. A pity date. On the other had, Ms. Joyce alleges that Ms. Mahoney was very eager and willing date such a young, handsome, and employed Little Johnny Reinke. Credibility is left to the jury.) In any event, a phone number was released. The call made. And the date set.

On the appointed date and time, Little Johnny Reinke arrives at the Eighth Street apartments, and presents himself. Upon admission, he introduces himself to the family, presents flowers to Mrs Mahoney, and a small corsage to Miss Mahoney. After the chit chat, the details of the date were discussed: displayed tickets for the 2030 show at Rockefeller Center movie theater. (I forget what we saw? Who was looking at the screen. She was a knock out.) Dinner before hand at (I forget the name — I think it was the Irish Pub on 48th and Sixth.) a name restaurant. Return was promised promptly 0005 hours. This late hour was necessitated by the movie and Rockettes stage show. With the caveat that there can always be traffic, but since we could use any of the Hudson River crossings that should not be a problem. If it was, one of us would call asap. The date happened.

(Here too there are disputes as to the facts of the matter. Miss Mahoney has asserted that Little Johnny Reinke never shut up and gave her a headache. Little Johnny Reinke still asserts that it was a pleasant non-committal evening. As a defense, Little Johnnie Reinke points to his reputation as the silent type. Neither party has ever commented as to what happened at the apartment door upon return.)

A second date was proposed. When Miss Mahoney asked what young Johnny Reinke had in mind. (Hey, out of the gutter. This was the mid-sixties PRIOR to “free love” hippie movement.) Little Johnny Reinke suggested joining a few of his friends at their usual Saturday hang out, The Red Garter in the West Village. He continued that his friends were the most courtly, considerate, and gentlemanly men of good character that she’d ever meet. And, that there would be at least two other young women there. Ms. Maire (who pronounced like French) and (What was the name of the Mountie that Fanning was dating?) For some reason, Miss Mahoney asked about the gentlemen and Little johnny Reinke described without hesitation. Then when asked why, Miss Mahoney disclosed the fact that she and her girl friends may have been there over the last two years. (Drinking age in NY 18; NJ 21) And, while she might quibble about some of the adjectives, she felt comfortable the venue. And the date locked in.

Blah, blah, flowers for Mom, small corsage for Miss Mahoney. Public transportation was to be used; Mom was given the keys. Since there was the very slight chance that some small modest amount of alcohol MIGHT consumed for the purposes of being sociable. And, since that was in and of itself dangerous, public transit was planned. As such, the 1205 curfew might have to be flexible since we were leaving at 1800, grabbing a snack, and our expected participation in the venue’s entertainment was to conclude at 2300, train delays might need to be expected. But, either Miss Mahoney or myself would call should that happen.

(Now again there are disputes about the facts of the matter.) Some witnesses recount it as the 60’s version of Girls Gone Wild; others described it as an Americanized version of a pre-Hitler German beer hall musical. Personally, due to the amounts and types of beverages consumed, as well as copious peanuts which further distorted the measurement, I don’t recall the details — there was table dancing, there was close contact due to the crowding, and there was ample time for conversation as long as there was mouth to ear or mouth to mouth contact. Exactly what was discussed and for how long is disputed. Miss Mahoney returned home at 0100 after the requisite phone call from the subway station. Weekend subway service is so unreliable. Car keys were retrieved from Mom while Little Johnny Reinke waited patiently on the landing. Miss Mahoney spent some time in conversation before a knock from inside sent little Johnny Reinke home at about 0200.

That was really it. I was hooked, line, and sinkered. After that date, I told several people that I met the girl I was going to marry. She, on the other hand, took a long while to come around to the idea. She was, like always, fun, intelligent, smart, lively, focused, determined, honest, faithful, charitable, disciplined, and demurely sexy in a way that would drive the boys wild. And those were nice GAMS. Even if they were hollow.

Maybe it was a match made in heaven. Maybe it would last a few years. Maybe we’d both be perfect for each other.

Maybe the new Mrs. Joyce was right.

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/mycentraljersey/obituary.aspx?n=evlynn-marie-reinke&pid=149004159

http://obits.nj.com/obituaries/starledger/obituary.aspx?n=evlynn-marie-reinke&pid=149011072

They screwed up the layput. Thereare only three paragraph breaks. DO I get a partial refund? It’s hard to read. I have to see the actual papers. Hope it doesn’t look like a “legal notice”.

# # # # # posted 2011-02-28 05:54

Preferred spot for stories is http://1000memories.com/evy-reinke It’s supposed to be eternally free? And, I’ll be backing it up to my own personal site later in the week.

# # # # # posted 2011-02-28 06:08

http://1000memories.com/evy-reinke/memories

[JR: To choked up for words.]

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