FUN: Preventing a night time “dunking”

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

http://unclutterer.com/2011/04/13/unitasker-wednesday-light-up-toilet-seat/

Unitasker Wednesday: Light Up Toilet Seat

All Unitasker Wednesday posts are jokes — we don’t want you to buy these items, we want you to laugh at their ridiculousness. Enjoy!

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Whenever I’m cleaning the toilet in my house, I think to myself, “This toilet really could use something to brighten it up.”

I’m sure you think the exact same thing about your toilet. Toilet darkness is a major concern for most people. And, I think we all know that bleach will never be able to brighten our toilets the way we need them to be illuminated.

Well, our days of having toilets that loom in the shadows are gone. We can now install a Light Up Toilet Seat:

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I know a young ten year old lady who would love to have this. She lives with two younger brothers. And, I have been told that one more than one occasion in the middle of the night, she’s “sat” in the toilet. The screams reportedly woke the neighbors. But not her brothers, who she wanted to stuff IN the toilet. This maybe a joke to us, but I bet she’d buy it. LOL.

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FUN: The biggest compliment …

Saturday, April 16, 2011

http://thomsinger.blogspot.com/2006/06/41-things-ive-learned-by-40.html

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6. If you know someone who wrote a book, read it. The biggest compliment you can give an author is to read what they wrote.

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True, true, true!

http://www.itstartedinchurch.com

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FUN: Time shares as penny stocks

Thursday, April 14, 2011

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/free-time-shares-owners-cut-losses-by-dumping-1379853.html

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For Ginger Brownlow, a sales executive at King’s Creek Plantation, a luxury time share in Williamsburg, Va., the challenge is competing with her own product when it’s selling for half price on sites such as Tremblay’s. Though her price includes the cost of marketing the resort and driving consumer demand, resellers are capturing some of that demand with much-lower prices.

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This reminded me of an old Wall Street joke about penny stocks. Those are stocks that sell for under $1/share. Dogs.

Broker: “You should buy acme it’s at a nickel and will go to $100.”
Rube: “Buy 10,000”
Broker: “You should buy acme it’s at a 7½¢ and will go to $100.”
Rube: “Buy 10,000”
Broker: “You should buy acme it’s at a dime and will go to $100.”
Rube: “Buy 10,000”
Broker: “You should buy acme it’s at a 12½¢ and will go to $100.”
Rube: “Sell my whole position; I want to take profits.”
Broker: “To who?”

Same as time-shares.

:-(

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FUN: ‘Fiat Currency’ is no more; it’s now “Muggle Money”! Like “monopoly money”.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

http://www.lewrockwell.com/schmidt/schmidt25.1.html

An End to ‘Fiat Currency’
by Thomas Schmidt

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Laughter is a powerful tool of undermining the existing order. Boss Tweed might have remained in power, but for the mocking and muckraking of Thomas Nast’s cartoons. As Hans Christian Andersen once pointed out, the Emperor can abide anything but the laughter of children at his nakedness and foolish ways. We must use the power of the young to ridicule that which is ridiculous as they build a better way in the world, with a sound, gold-based money. We must stop using the technical term “fiat currency” known to Austrians, and refer to it simply by the words that make clear to a new generation that it ought to be an object of scorn. Call it Muggle Money, let the children mock Bernanke, and the battle is half won.

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I think he’s absolutely correct.

If we laugh at the Gooferment’s money, then it will lose its power over us. To delude us into thinking it is a “store of value”. Or, “a measure”. Or, “a standard”.

It fails in three of the four attributes of “money”.

Sigh.

If it wasn’t so sad, it would be funny.

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FUN: Children are … serendipitious

Thursday, April 7, 2011

… funny.

Had dinner with in-laws tonight.

I have no idea how the topic came up, but a very smart 6+ year old male informed me: “Children are free.” When I inquired: “How so?” He continued on: “Well, mommies just drop them out.”

(Good thing I wasn’t drinking or it would have been a “beverage through the nose” moment.)

I would have liked to hear more of his wisdom, but Mommy and Daddy piled on.

“What about diapers?” “What about food and fun?”

He was defending gallantly. “You get diapers free at the hospital.” Followed by: “Parents have to eat and do stuff anyway.”

He was overwhelmed. But it was cute and I thought very astute. The first vestiges of real thought. Plus I really wanted to hear more about how they “just drop out”.

BTW, when I did the USAF emergency air medicine course, a tough old Master Sargent and a young shiny butter bar LT / doc, described how, in the unlikely case of an emergency delivery, we were instructed in the emergencies we could handle. Assuming that “there are NO REAL people available”! (We weren’t considered to be very valuable.) A lot of the course was an emphasis on not screwing things up. For example, in the absence of sterile sheets, we’re to use clean newspaper. For example, in the absence on antiseptic, we were to “scrub up” with anything, but check with the pilot and / or the flight master, some one will have flask. For example, in a breech birth, push the baby back and turn it head first. For example, a tangled cord has to be cut and clamped at both ends and use anything sterile to clamp. The pièce de résistance of the whole day was his description of a normal birth. “Listen morons, if you’re lucky, then all you’ll have to do is stand by and catch the baby as it just drops out“.

Funny to hear the words of a crusty old USAF Sargent repeated by a very smart 6+ year old. Guess you had to be in both places to enjoy the serendipity.

I always wished I got a chance to deliver a baby. Came close twice, but no cigar. Should I put that on my bucket list.

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FUN: Considering “Road Trip”

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Remember the movie Animal House? Bluto yells “Road Trip”. We all know how well that worked out.

“Wed, 9/14/2011 Englert Theatre Iowa City, IA”

Foolish?

Sent the following warning to various interested parties:

“{Short Message. No message Body} Judy Collins concert 9/24 Iowa City has popped on my radar. The idea to go is a possibility. (Yeah, regressing back in time to 1966 in AT&T Computer Room. What’s next: Anti-war rallies?) {No Reply Required}”

Tie it into an Alaska return?

(Maybe this is caused by listening to an excessive number of Judy and PPM music from Amazon.)

TBC!

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FUN: He loves his IPAD?

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

http://www.flixxy.com/ipad-baby.htm

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FUN: Darn, I should have gone to dance class; not college!

Monday, March 21, 2011

http://www.marksdailyapple.com/

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Dance and Courtship

Dance has been used for tens of thousands of years for men and women to select each other, to gauge each other’s worthiness as prospective mates. Dancing conveys rhythm, which translates well to the bedroom (also the cave, the hut, or the buffalo hide). If you can dance well, or even if you’re just willing to dance and enjoy yourself, you are more likely to attract positive, sexual attention. And, like it or not, sex is the backbone of human evolution.

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ROFL.

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FUN: What’s Vedic Math?

Sunday, March 20, 2011

DSCN0099

Silly me! I thought Math was Math regardless. The universal language?

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FUN: Little children are fun to watch when they are in their zone

Thursday, March 17, 2011

DSCN0078

Went to M’s play last night.

(I’ll skip over the obvious Socialist education messages. “Wishing we could change ancient laws that are just wrong.” Yeah, I know me, and my tin foil hat, see Socialists and Big Gooferment subliminal advertising everywhere in the Gooferment Skrules!)

The entrance was manned by a “welcoming committee”. With water, apples, and shopping bags. (Shopping bags? Courtesy of the local school improvement cooperative.) Adults were asked if they’d like to register to vote. (School funding?) And, if you said that you were registered, they offered you, what I would call, a “wake up service”. They gave you a form to fill out and some one from the collective “would call and remind you when it was time to vote for better schools”. (I swear. No joke. I listened very carefully. I couldn’t make this up.)

But this isn’t about politics!

Interesting idea. Give children and adults apples as refreshments. But no paper towels? Obviously a well-thought out plan to have sticky hands and a lot of people holding cores. (Being a fat old white guy injineer, I immediately look for paper products but couldn’t find any. And, being a bit of fanatic, I wasn’t sure if they were washed so I declined. Algar? Wasn’t that the greenies’ scare that ruined the Washington apple industry until sanity resumed to people who asked for evidence that we were all going to roll up and die eating it. If unwashed, should folks have been keeling over in the aisle. Maybe humans, like pigs, can eat anything and survive?)

After the obligatory “welcome” by one of the less senior Gooferment Skrule Bureaucrat. Complete with “rules”. (Do they think that they are dealing with “large size children”.) And, an urging to “support our schools”. They got organized.

Wish I could rescue all the children from, as Rush says, “having their little minds filled with mush! But wishing ain’t gonna make it so.

Tough night.

At various spots in the play, I saw flashes of enthusiasm and happiness on many little faces. Surprisingly, even M looked positively joyous at one point. I wish I could have had a picture of that.

There were no child prodigies. No Andrea McArdle. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfvxYTL7EkM (I saw here on Broadway. Fantastic! Always inspiring when you see someone in their bliss. In the zone. Reaching their potential.) But there were some introverts, some extroverts, some with raw talent, some with what would be be characterized as “enthusiasm”. At several times in the play, usually in the group songs, the cast really put their hearts and souls in the song.

Interestingly one of the non-singing points were I saw enthusiasm was in the “magic carpet ride” scene. Even those in the chorus, who were sitting quietly, were somehow happily transfixed on the actions — perhaps dreaming of escape on a magic carpet with a beautiful price or princess.

(Do kids really believe this stuff? They are so hard to communicate with. It’s difficult to determine what they believe. Other than I need a puppy. My assistant photographer and ipad game playing best bud again put his pitch in that I need a puppy so I’m not lonely. I patiently re-explained my “one dog, one wife, one house” policy. He just nodded knowingly.)

The other time the children were really happy and excited was at the end of the play (Me2!) when they recognized and gave a gift bag to each one of those that helped. Big cheers and instance for the Student Teacher to come out. But more about that later.

The “big honcho” Gooferment Skrules Bureaucrat came out to close. He reminded us that these were just little kids who had put in 96 hours of time and more than 20 rehearsals. (First, did any one think they were on Broadway? Or that these were just small adults. Second, maybe this is as good as they could be, but may they needed more time or talent. Or better Gooferment Skrules Bureaucrats?) He again gave us more rules and 15 minute deadline before the children had to be at their cast party.

Then the children passed around the mike for the recognizing those helpers and give their gift bags.

(Couldn’t catch the names, the children were so excited. They become almost non-verbal. But their actions said volumes. You could sense who was really loved and who was just an obligatory “ty”. That was infectious. But those called out from the audience were really embarrassed. But the children insisted.)

The teacher, the music guy, some lady who did something, and M’s Mom got applause. (I left my audience participation noise meter at home, but clearly to this fat old white guy injineer the Student Teacher was the most beloved. And humorously the most embarrassed. (Thought that was cute, and the children were most animated. The young woman obviously had touched their hearts and souls. That was nice to see.)

Then the cast was free. Adults were up to the stage taking pictures. Some girls got flowers. Some of the children looked like they were lost in a busy train station. By my eye M had the most flowers. And seemed pleased with the attention.

M’s brothers were ready to go home. (Me2!) They had just sat through their second viewing since they had seen it that afternoon. My assistant photographer’s only comment was “It was better the first time.” From the mouths of babes. Things usually are.

So I was trooper and represented Frau Reinke at this family event. About mid way through, I was very sad that she missed it. She would have loved it. She was always happy any time she saw someone “hitting their stride”. In basketball, even if her girls lost, as long as the played their best and had fun, she was happy. (Of course, she liked to win. But that wasn’t the only thing.) She’s have been positive that the children were beautiful and the production was one step from Broadway. (I’d say a LONG step.) But, I’d agree that the children had fun and at times hit their bliss. So on that scale, it was a hit!

However, I couldn’t get to sleep until about 3AM thinking about all she had missed.

Donna Nobis Pacem.

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