FUN: injineer

Saturday, November 3, 2007

http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/016406.html

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I am reminded of an incident that occurred during the “Reign of Terror” in France. It was a busy day for the guillotine, as the condemned lined up to face their fates. The first person, a young man, was led to the scaffold, placed face up on a long board; the order of execution was read, and the signal was given for the blade to drop. It did, but – due to a malfunction – it stopped less than two feet from the head of the condemned man. The official in charge observed that, as the man had gone through the ceremony, to have repeated it would constitute double jeopardy. He was thus released and allowed to go free.

The next victim, a woman, went through the same ordeal, with the blade dropping to within a foot or two of her neck and she, too, was released. This happened two more times, much to the consternation of the execution officials. Finally, a condemned man – who happened to be an engineer – was led to the scaffold, forced to lie face up on the board, and listen as his order of execution was read. Just as the blade was about to drop, he looked up and exclaimed: “I see the problem!”

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Obviously an urban legend. A real injineer would have fixed the problem after the first malfunction. Try it again and hope for magic is Microsoft attribute.

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FUN: The Peel P50 perfect for 1000$/barrel oil!

Saturday, November 3, 2007

http://www.flixxy.com/tiny-car-review.htm

Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson reviews the tiniest car ever manufactured and shows you the possibilities when getting around the office.

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The Peel P50 was a three-wheeled microcar manufactured in 1962 by the Manx Peel Engineering Company. It was designed as a town car and was advertised as capable of seating “one adult and a shopping bag”. The car currently holds the record for the smallest-ever automobile to go into mass production, at just 134 cm (53 in) long and 99 cm (39 in) wide, with a weight of only 59 kg (132 lb). The vehicle’s only door was on its left side, and equipment included a single windscreen wiper, and only one headlight. The P50 used a 49 cc DKW engine which gave it a top speed of approximately 61 km/h (38 mph), and was equipped with a three-speed automatic transmission that had no reverse gear. Consequently, reverse motion could only be achieved by pushing, or lifting the car using the handle on the rear and physically pulling it round. Despite its diminutive stature, the Peel P50 is street legal in the UK.

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What a hoot!

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FUN: NEW TURKEY RECIPE

Thursday, November 1, 2007

FROM ONE OF FRAU REINKE’S HIGHSCHOOL BBALL TEAM AND RUNNING MATES

*** begin quote ***

NEW TURKEY RECIPE

1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes.
2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully.
3. Roast according to your own recipe and serve.
4. Watch your guests’ faces…

Scroll down

turkey sexy

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

*** end quote ***

As the the big fat old turkey hisself, I fail to see the humor in this. But since Frau laughed, I thought it was blogable.

poster71877900

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FUN: 8 tonnes of cement

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

http://stuff.co.nz/stuff/4253595a6011.html

8 tonnes of cement drop in for a drink
By SONIA GERKEN – The Southland Times | Monday, 29 October 2007

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A building project next door to the Howl at the Moon restaurant and bar in Gore’s Main St literally burst through the wall on Friday, sending 4000L of wet concrete spewing into the dining area.

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Sounds like a college prank except this was for real.

Since no one was physically hurt, it’s good for a laugh.

If you want to see the difference in cultures, read the reporting. How calm! “… it was hoped insurance would cover everything”.

How civilized!

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FUN: “Find the hat”

Monday, October 29, 2007

An urban legend, but this is how I heard it.

*** begin quote ***

Back in the 1950s, men wore hats as part of their business attire.

An IBM sales rep, new on the job, was going to call on a key customer in Texas. The old sales rep met him for he was to introduce the new rep. The old rep was aghast that the new rep had no cowboy hat. “You’ll never be taken seriously”, he advised. So the stopped at the local Stetson dealer, and the new rep purchased a fine $100 Stetson cowboy hat. (In the Fifties, a hundred dollars was “real money; not like today!) The meeting went well and the new rep was warmly greeted by the client.

Everything was right with the world.

In preparing his Sales Report, the new sales rep also prepared his expense report. Of course, he attached all his receipts as part of his expenses as required by the IBM policy, including the one for the hat.

His boss returned the expense report, telling him to “lose the hat.” While the rep felt it was needed that didn’t matter. It was not on the official schedule of reimbursable expenses. And so the company wouldn’t pay for a hat!

So, the sales rep turned in a new expense report … for the same amount, but with no line in the report for the hat. In response to his boss’ questioning look, the man said, “Find the hat.”

*** end quote ***

Obviously a urban legend since no one at IBM would have ever been so confrontational.

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FUN: PaiGow session#2 at more modest $20 table

Monday, October 29, 2007

20071028 paigow #2

What was interesting in this session is the player to my far left was playing “hunches”. Varying her bet and varying her bonus play.

Guess what?

She was wiped out.

Note: 5Aces400x; StraightFlush50x; FourOfKind25x; Fullhouse5x; Flush4x; ThreeKind3x; Stright2x

If she’d have just played the bonus for the 5$/hand, she’d have been rolling in it. She was catching a bonus had every other hand. If I have had her cards, I’d have been loaded.

So that brings up the essential question. Are you playing to win the hand or the bonus?

Still don’t have an playing or exit strategy. This time I used the clock (i.e., meet for lunch or meet to go home). There has to be a better way.

Next time:
* Play at a low minimum table.
* Always play the bonus for the full five dollar stake.
* Since we are going to limit our losses, cap the loss (i.e., a “wall” of five soldiers?).

We are seeking a winning streak. A two win streak replaces one soldier. Use the breakage from the first win to advance the line and bonus bet? The commission on a 20$win gives you back a 19$. Increase you line bet and bonus bet by five each? Hole the nine for the next commission. If you win that second bet, you’ll get a full soldier back. If it wasn’t a bonus win, use the extra five to bump the bonus again. It’s all about playing more when you are winning and less when you are losing.

Comments welcome?

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FUN: Pai Gow results today

Sunday, October 28, 2007

session #1 at a 60$ table

push
22txxxx loss
push
push
akqxxxx lose
22xxxxx lose
99axxxx push
444q9xx push bonus15
777axxx win bouns15
77kqxxx push
jjjaqxx won bonus15
tt66axx push
akqjxxx lose
akqjt97 push bonus10
wakqxxx win
999atxx win bonus15
88qxxxx push
66qtxxx lose
ttt22ax win bonus25
wjtxxxx lose

won about $24.

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FUN: “A Few Good Salesmen”

Sunday, October 28, 2007

http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=21;t=001076;p=1

“A Few Good Salesmen”.

*** begin quote ***

Sales: “You want answers?”

Finance: “I think we are entitled to them!”

Sales: “You want answers?!”

Finance: “I want the truth!”

Sales: “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!”

Sales (continuing): “Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who’s going to find it? You? You, Mr. Operations? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You scoff at the sales division and you curse our lucrative incentives. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the cost of business results are excessive, it drives in revenue. And my very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don’t want to know the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at staff meetings … you want me on that call. You NEED me on that call! We use words like comps, pipelines, discounts, value add & global purchase agreements. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent negotiating something. You use them as a punch line! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some sales calls. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!”

Finance: “Did you expense the lap dances?”

Sales: “I did the job I was hired to do.”

Finance: “Did you expense the lap dances?”

Sales: “YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!!!”

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ROFL!

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FUN: truck driver and priest

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Date: Thu, 15 Aug 1996 10:41:09 -0500
From: Cereal Killer
Subject: truck driver and priest <off to layers>

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud “THUMP” and then he would swerve back onto the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. He asked the priest, “Where are you going, Father?”. “I’m going to the church 5 miles down the road!”, replied the priest. “No problem, Father! I’ll give you a lift. Climb in the truck”. The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud “THUD”.

Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer”.

“That’s okay”, replied the priest. “I got him with the door!

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Obviously an urban legend. A priest might be out walking, but a lawyer?!?

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FUN: Gnomic whizdumb

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Gnomic whizdumb

“do, or do not. there is NO try!”

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