I've learned the hard way that idle speculation on what might have been is counter productive and a waste of time.
Probably the day I decided which College to attend.
I had been accepted to: Stamford, Notre Dame, Fordham, and Manhattan. I chose Manhattan because it was easiest and cheapest. It's hard to imagine one day in my life that was so pivotal. That decision determined so much of my future. It was the choice that cut off three other branches.
In my novel, I'd have the ability to see "… the Eternal Possibilities Machine, which generates all the possibilities for use in creating the alternative worlds. In all those probability lines …" CHURCH 10●19●62 (Vol 1) 978-0-557-08387-9 page 45.
That would tell me how things would have been different. Unfortunately, unlike the Bill Murray movie "GROUNDHOGS DAY", you don't get the benefit of do overs.
So, I'll never know what could have happened.
Shoulda, coulda, and woulda! They'll kill you.