WRITING: The 1957 Hungarian Pie Plate (an index card novel)

The 1957 Hungarian Pie Plate

Dearest Emily,

Miss you. Love you. Be back soon.

Well, as soon as I get the travel permits. I have so much to tell you.

Grand cousin’s estate is now settled here. It was very simple as expected. The family will now know what he was doing for the last 35 years. The weirdo was inventing. It turns out he was instrumental in Vermont Independence. Sounds a little Communistic but he’s a “Hero of the Revolution”. There are a lot, but his speciifcally has ribbons and clusters that I do understand. Nor remember. I’m told its among the highest.

The arrival was interesting. Crossing the border on our side, I had to <***** REDACTED BY HOMELAND SECURITY *****> but once on the other side all I had to do was lick my thumb, press a button, my picture was taken, and the machine dispensed the equivalent of our green card. Their’s is gold, issued by an insurance company, and acts as a real time credit card. Cousin guaranteed the whole family. So it also issued me some various denomination paper and gold coins. If allowed, I’ll bring some home for you to see. <***** WARNING BY HOMELAND SECURITY — foreign money may not be imported; it’s taxed at 100% *****> We should all come for a visit if we can get permits. <***** WARNING BY HOMELAND SECURITY — entire families are not permitted out of the country together *****>

Cousin invented a novel solution. Remember he was always concerned about what would happen if New Hampshire succeeded? Would the Federal Government roll tanks? Of course, the answer was yes. We know how well that worked out. <***** REDACTED BY HOMELAND SECURITY *****> He invented a distributed solution and wrote an IPAD app for it. Basically, the app was like FourSquare where “friends” voted on picture. Threat or no threat? No one is sure where the app is hosted or how it runs, but if enough votes are cast, this think called a “turtle” drops in and soon after things start to appear. Most common is what the natives call “pie plates”. They come in like frisbees. If a tank rolls over them, bang. One less tank. Any attempt to move them, bang. People can step on them; cars can drive over them. They are targeted on the tank. Should the tank fire on and destroy the turtle. One on the pie plates morphs into a turtle. Once targeted, most tank crews abandon the tanks and walk back to the border. Never did find out how the local got rid of these road blocks. They are all over the state on almost every road.

Cousin had a bunch of other inventions — the P51 Mosquito that would do the same thing to something flying, the Red Baron Butterfly that would protect people, and the 1911 R2D2 that would attack troops with a 10 shot 45 cal hand gun. All controlled from the same app. <***** WARNING BY HOMELAND SECURITY — non approved material is not importable – for your own safety *****>

He’s famous here and infamous on our side.

As you know they have no patents here, but some how his company, no corporations here either, is very profitable. It’s invented a solar power unicycle that is quite fun. I’ll bring one home.

If it wasn’t for my love for you, I’d stay. Be home soon. Waiting on approvals and reeducation.

All my love,
Ricardo

p.s., Cousin would be so pleased. Ferdinand and Ferdinanina are now a very popular name for children here. He got his wish — namesakes.

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