Reinke Faces Life

It happened in Church - October 19, 1962
Chapter Thirteen - Laid low by a secret room

Brother Kevin was floored. He really was unprepared for all of this. Recon, some recon. He hadn’t found anything because his head wasn’t in the game. He didn’t find the phone! Or the light switches right away. He didn’t recon squat. His demons were telling him that his children were going to die because he was a fool thinking he could pull this off. He put his head on the table, face in his folded arms, and cried as hard as when his childhood friend died in his arms at Iwo right at the War’s end. He should have died. He couldn’t save him. But, he was alive. Deep cleansing sobs.

Sam was befuddled. One minute he was expressing himself with all the clarity that Saint TAQ could help him with, and the next minute Brother Kevin was in tears. Bawling like girl. What did I say? Sam took command of the situation. Brother Prefect had always said he had initiative. Used badly, but initiative. “Master Joshua, Brother Kevin is just tired. Go get John to come here now and the return to your post. Master Andrew, please convey my compliments to Miss Marie, and inquire if she could see fit to join us here as well. Gentlemen, please hurry. I’m in the crap here and am sinking.” Sam emulated Horatio Hornblower in addressing Marie. He was trying to get on her good side. She did have one; didn’t she? The “gentlemen” moved out with haste. They knew they needed Brother Kevin. Did Brother Kevin suddenly realize something bad? The fear was palpable. Now it was just Sam and Brother Kevin. Sam didn’t know what else he could say. So he sat down next to Brother, put his arm around him, and said “It’s going to be OK. We are not children. We’re angels put here to help you.” He remembered Brother Prefect saying something like that to a crying child that Brother Prefect has accidentally scared more than he was intending. But Brother had said ‘not monsters’. But Sam was now very afraid. He’d been the target of drunken beatings. Those were bad, but not frightening. You got your a double q kicked and that was it. No choices. Just endure. Here, there were choices. Some we didn’t even know. Like water. Sam hadn’t even thought about water. If Marie hadn’t and opened the valve, they’d all be dead now. What other things were there? What had they missed? Sam stumbled upon Brother Kevin’s problem. Make the wrong choice and everyone’s dead. Boy, Sam needed help now. He too was being over come with fear. Fear that could paralyze his brain and kill him.

John and Marie arrived at the double quick march. John coded Marie “whatrung” (he was stressed too) and got a “nodiea” back. Marie could use her eyebrows as well as her hips. They could code so fast, it was a little like telepathy. John could see Brother Kevin sobbing and Sam looking like he had stepped in dog doo and tracked into one of the Nun’s classes. (Nuns were so fastidious.) “Sam, what’s up?” Marie went to the other side of Brother and asked “Brother Kevin, are you hurt?” No answer. Sam told them, “I was giving him some thoughts and he just broke down. I have an idea. Want to hear it?” Sam was not everyone’s favorite person. He made a lot of enemies on his recovery from abuse. For example, he knew Marie hated him for what he did in Third. No amount of trying had ever made up for it. He was evil in those days. Like when he told every one she farted when she hadn’t. Silly, but then girls are sensitive about bodily functions. Well at least that was his opinion before this time in the shelter. They were pretty sharp, and did come with fun accessories. Marie looked at John. John looked at Marie. Marie started, “Master Sam, what did you do that made this happen!?!” Not really a question; more an accusation. She KNEW Sam was trouble. Sam asked TAQ to help him and not flare up at Marie. (TAQ petitioned the Lord to make Sam eloquent and Marie tolerant.)

“Miss Marie, I know I have badly wronged you in the past. For that I am truly sorry. I have tried to atone, but you won’t forgive. I didn’t hurt him, or do anything. I think what I did is scare him.” “How?” asked John, feeling this would have to be good. What could scare a Marine? If Brother Kevin was scared, then John felt he should be petrified. “I gave him an idea about something I heard. And, I think he realized that he was making life ‘n’ death decisions for us all. That scared him.” John and Marie were stunned. And now very scared themselves. Sam’s perception brought it all home. They should all be crying in fear. Marie said to Sam, “Master Sam, Sorry. I’ve misjudged you. That’s very perceptive and astute. You’re forgiven; forgive me?” “Sure”, Sam grinned, “I’ve been trying.” But, he left that alone for fear of undoing all the good ground gained. Then Marie turned to Brother Kevin, “Brother Kevin”, shaking his arm very gently, “Brother Kevin, it’s Marie. I need you.” She eyebrowed John. John said, “Brother Kevin, it time to see the elephant. I need you.” Sam chimed in, “We all need you.” John said, “We need TAQ to shake him out of this. (So summoned, TAQ petitioned the Lord to grant Brother Kevin relief from his self-loathing.)

Brother Kevin was embarrassed. The PTSD had gotten him again. There was no booze to relieve his pain. There was no community of knowing veteran brothers to reassure him that he didn’t let his friend die. There was no shrink to help him walk the emotional minefield. There was only Gunny TAQ in his dreams urging him to get in the game. He was truly ashamed. A grown man crying in front of children. The little children were calling him and he had no answers. Maybe TAQ, even if he wasn’t a gunney, could help him. (On cue, TAQ petitioned the Lord to give Brother Kevin the courage to face his human frailties, and who could be afraid with a Legion of Angels at his side.)

The fog of a PTSD relapse was clearing. Who know why it comes; who knows why it leaves. Brother Kevin felt he was surrounded by the entire Marine Corps. Not that he was invincible, but just that he wasn’t alone. After all he had all these children who told him they were angels to help him. He just had to use them wisely. Wise use was much easier than trying to do it all himself.

“I’m sorry children. I have some left over issues from the war. They overwhelm me sometimes. Sam, you’re great. Marie, you’re fantastic. John, you’re inspiring. Sam has two great ideas. No three. Marie, you tried to tell me that you were all growing up. John showed me stones and initiative. And, I’ve been locked into thinking of you as little children. I’ve been on an ego trip thinking I could save us all. Like Superman! I couldn’t even save Zippy.” John ear wagged Marie ‘whozippy’. “Glad you asked, John.”, said Brother Kevin. John was stunned and showed it. Marie laughed and said, “John, I told him of our secret. When you were singing. He thought you were very sick.” Sam just thought he’d landed in loony tunes land, but hung in with the joke he didn’t get. Brother Kevin continued, “Recon Marines can code as well. And, we observe everything. Zippy was my best friend. He died at Iwo. He had this neat mini racer thing that he painted zippy on the side. Refused to answer to his real name, he was that zippy car. Any way he died in my arms a long time ago before you were born probably. It wasn’t my fault. I couldn’t save him. I can’t save us. And, I miss him every day and I should have saved him too.” John, Marie, and Sam were stunned. Brothers don’t talk to students about personal things. John only suspected that any of the brothers were warriors because they talked and acted like his Dad and Uncles. And, had slang that they’d use occasionally between themselves like FUBAR — Fouled up beyond all recovery. Brothers didn’t cry either. They made students cry. Everyone’s opinions were changing.

Brother Kevin continued, “In recon, sorry reconnaissance, our job was to go out, find out stuff, and bring it back. Sometimes it even worked like that. We’re supposed to be smart and fast. I’ve let you children down. Pretending that I’m something I’m not. Being a Brother hasn’t, doesn’t, make me more than a man. It’s supposed to make me a better man.” Turning to Sam, “Sam has three great ideas. (1) You all are angels sent to help me. Now Marie maybe. John’s too fat to be dancing on any pins (How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?) And, Sam’s too ugly. But, maybe Sam’s right about the helping part. (2) We are going to depend on those guns. I need to get everyone up to speed on them. Just like there are no atheists in foxholes, there are no superior Brothers or children in this shelter. Everyone is on the team equally. If I forget, remind me. (3) Sam thinks there’s a secret room. Now as recon, I should have found it. Heck, when we came I didn’t even find the phone. And I forgot about cups.” The mention of cups made the four of them laugh. Brother Kevin continued, “OK, we gotta get organized. John, said we need entertainment. I think we need preparation. Don’t know for what, but think about it. OK, let’s feed some people. Sam and John, it would seem to me that you need to get back to the ‘fire team’ and watch that door. Sam, we should work on your ideas as soon as we can. Great help. Marie, I’d suggest you go organize the feeding and I’ll bring the ‘delicious’ meals and water. Does that sound like a plan?” Everyone mumbled assent. John’s biggest concern was that Brother Kevin obviously could eavesdrop on his messages to Marie.

Back at the fire team, Jody, without her usual harsh tone, asked “Is Brother Kevin OK? What happened?” Everyone wanted to know. Sam, took the lead, “Everyone needs to stay focused here. We’re defending the shelter. Brother Kevin, like Atlas, has been carrying the weight of the world. The load got a little heavy. I tripped him but John and Marie were able to get it off before it crushed him.” John was amazed that Sam gave him credit.

John said, “Brother Kevin, last night, referred to me as the War Chief, but that’s a mistake. On Church Day, I was just pissed that some one was feeling up Marie before me. I just found a better way to kick. All I know, I learned from the movies. Sam obviously has some ideas and should be the War Chief. Motion carried. Congrats, Sam.” Sam was very pleased. His recovery and rehabilitation was coming to fruition. Sam picked up, “Thanks John. I’ll make you proud of the choice. Well Classmates, I think we going to be at this a while. So we better get ready for the long haul. For the rest of today and tonight, I think we should stick together as Brother Kevin laid us out. It’s a standard ambush position. (Sam loved Field Manuals. His uncle, who lived with them, a Marine, had read them to him as bedtime stories. Sam felt safe then. His uncle would protect him from the drunks he had as parents. Too bad his uncle died. Sam was used to pain and death.) In the morning, we should leave the positions as laid out and keep one person in each of the four spots. Rotating of course. That way we are prepared. Of course, if something happens, everyone come a running”. John spoke, “Any questions for our new War Chief Sam? Sorry Sam, no Indian bonnet in the supplies, but we’ll get you one as soon as we find one.” Everyone laughed. Sam was deeply honored by his one-time adversary. He’d have to talk to him about learning that drop kick. Sam’s privates still ached when he thought about it.

Marie and Brother Kevin had fed, watered, and toileted the mob. Brother Kevin had June doing her rosary thing. Marie sought out John. “Miss you”, she said. “Me too. We’ll have to watch what we code.”, John sorrowed. He liked to have secret conversations with Marie. He’d been doing it since they were Fourths. They were really in the fourth year of their platonic love affair. They had coded with the Nuns and Brothers right there. Hours and hours. The Nuns were right. John was going to charm the pants right off Marie one of these days. But they were good kids. There’d be a nuptial before they made that happen. “Correction, John. You have to watch what YOU code. He doesn’t know that I hula.”, she cooed. “You’re such a vamp! Hula for poppa a little so he can get thru the night”, John begged. “No, priest first. I’m a good little girl. You might have me in your dreams. But, I will be much much better in real life.”, she teased. “That’s ‘no fair’. Real men have needs.”, he complained. “Well when a real man shows up, I may have to reconsider. Night. Duty calls.”, as she started her vamp act intending to prance away. John grabbed her arm, spun her back facing him, kissed her passionately, and said “Now away with you, my love. Parting is.” Marie pranced, but her knees were a little weak, and she wasn’t so sure she’d be walking away if the situation was different. John turned back to the fire team who sat stunned. The team thought they might be in for some “adult education”. How far HAD Marie and John gone before Church Day? Such behavior from two icons of the School. Well, at least one icon, Marie wasn’t called the “Vestal Virgin” for nothing. John was good, but he wasn’t iconic before the Day. Now he was. “OK team. Show’s over. Nothing to see here. Get your own spouse.”, John said with a tinge of pride.

It was going to be hard to get to sleep tonight. Marie was hot!

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